An Idle Bohemian

Goodbye

2008-07-03T14:36:00.000-07:00

This is so sad. It is sad that on ending this project, I am not sad. I thought it would be bittersweet and that when it was over I would walk away knowing I tried my best. Instead I am closing this book knowing that once again I did not finish something I set out to do. Oddly, I am not down on myself for that. On the contrary, I feel empowered because I chose not to continue with this when I realized that it was no longer beneficial to me.

Pressuring myself to read a quantity of books was really silly. Books are not like that. I may still have book challenges in my future, for instance maybe I will read all of Proust. But putting a time limit on a quantity of books isn't paying respect to the work, the author or yourself.

It has been a year since the invention of this challenge; the purpose was to see that I could accomplish something. I did. I dealt with the tragedy of my dog's heart condition, I gave money to charity and it felt amazing, I survived another Christmas in Miami, I bought a car, I poached my first egg, I went to Boston and strolled through Harvard, I started recycling, I got 2 internships, I got a year closer to graduating, and the greatest things I did this year is I learned that I am fine. I am not what I do or a product of my failures or successes. I guess that is it right there, this book challenge taught me that if I don't finish something, nothing changes. I am no better, I am no worse, I am only who I am, and that is enough.

Almost over

2008-07-01T06:18:00.001-07:00

I have read a dozen books and not even recorded them, yikes! I am taking it as a good sign though; like maybe I have lost and then found my love of reading this year. I have been so busy. I can't believe there was a time that I had enough free time to even consider reading 100 books.

62, 63, 64

2008-06-05T04:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been reading and not even sharing it with you, that pretty much signals then end, yes?

62. Heart of Darkness
63. Things Fall Apart
64. The Stranger

I am sorry, little project, I am a fickle lass, but we had a good couple of months.

One month from now it will be a year, can you believe it? I whole year already!

61. The Fever-Wallace Stone

2008-05-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

OUCH! I hate being faced with things that make me re-think my whole way of life! Since reading this book I have not been able to make one single decision without thinking about every ramification of that decision. Do I eat cheaply, healthfully or organically? Grocery shopping brings about a existential panic attack. Every decision I make seems wrong, for the wrong reasons. I don't know what to do with myself, I rue the day I met my Cultural Imperialism teacher, how dare he remove my blinders.

The Fever

60. Coming Home-Rosamund Pilcher

2008-05-20T04:42:00.000-07:00

Almost 1000 pages of World War II, English Cottages, and Cornish towns, yum! I throughly enjoyed this book and if felt like a good cleanse from rushing through so many others.

I am back in school this semester, and on top of my insane school, work, internship schedule, I am taking a 7 week course on Cultural Imperialism, with this course the required reading in in the realm of 50-150 a night. So I have been reading, a lot, and fast, just not for this project. that makes me a little sad, but let's face it, we all know my heart hasn't been into it since January.

Book Project Guilt and Acceptance

2008-05-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

I do feel super duper guilty about neglecting my little project, however, it was a bit of a calculated neglect, so I have come to terms with everything.

I am reading a big fat Rosamund Pilcher book and various others. I just got back from Boston and all the used book stores were just divine. They inspired me, but the opposite direction from my 100, they helped me remember the importance of that one good book.

59. Ernest Hemingway: Rediscovered and 60. A New Earth

2008-04-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

This book was mostly photographs of Papa looking macho with his leather vest and rifle on knee or at the helm of his boat practicing his own brand of politics. I can't help myself, I love this guy. I am glad he isn't a law maker or in charge of governing the world, but I sure am glad he existed.

I haven't completely abandoned my 100 book quest, but I have been very sluggish about my discipline for finishing up anything. I did read A New Earth again, but it just wasn't the same, I was hoping that every time I picked up this book I would be overcome with the urge to clean, like I was the first time. It was not so. Either way, it counts.

I am still lumbering through 5 or so books. We will see what happens.

I am trying to study, really I am...

2008-04-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

How can I focus on creating audit trails for medical records with this looping in my head?

Finals

2008-04-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

Hello. I can't believe it is time for finals already, this semester just flew by! That means that July 4th is right around the corner and I am screwed. C'est la vie.

My current reading situation hasn't changed all that much.

Dreams from my father- Barak Obama: I am about half way through, and though, I am very ADD when it comes to my presidential candidates right now, I do really enjoy his writing.

Spring Snow- Mishima: I am over half way through with this book, and the story doesn't really seem that incredible, but the prose is so rich and just different from any other that I read it really slow to savor it all.

Book about Hemingway: I am almost done, and I know, Hemingway is an overpraised misogynist blah blah blah. I tell you, I don't care. I adore him. I like his raw, un-flowery style, his silly machismo and his leather vests.

A New Earth- Yeah, I am reading it again, and I will count it again, so shut up.

Brave New World-Aldous Huxley: I barely started it, so far, I am not into it, yet.

Coming Home-Rosamund Pilcher: It is springtime, I need my fix of my special lady. She is the opposite of Hemingway, flowery flowery flowery.

58. Booked to Die-John Dunning

2008-03-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

This book has been on my reading list a long time because it is about a tough, gritty detective that is also a collector of antique books. The book selling parts of the book were interesting and it was cool reading about the competitive cut-throat book scouting world, but some of the dialog and phrases were appalling. I may read the second book in the series-Bookman's Wake, but only because I bought it and I feel a certain obligation.

Speaking of certain obligations, that is also why I am still keeping track of what I finish here. But make no mistake, I have all but accepted failure in regards to the 100 books. I feel great about it though; no more guilt when I peruse my favorite magazines or, heaven forbid, just want to play a video game or watch a movie.

I can linger over one sentence for an hour and even make the decision to just stop reading a book if I don't like it. When I was so concerned with the numbers, I would beat myself up for not finishing a book if I already had committed 50 pages; after all, those pages could count...

So today, I am going to enjoying cleaning up my apartment, test my hand at Risotto, go to the market and buy veggies for the week, and IF I feel inspired I will do a little lounging and slowly read a big, fat, wordy novel.

57. Entre Nous, something something inner french girl

2008-03-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

I read this book a long time ago, and there was a recipe I was trying to find, so I just re-read the whole thing. And that my friends, is why this "challenge is a total bust" I will do pretty much anything to just rack up a number. I have a huge stack of neglected magazines just rotting away, and I have even tried to devise a way to make them add up to a book somehow. Surely, my J. Peterman stack counts for at least 2 books.

I wanted to measure a year in books, and I still think that that is a wonderful idea. I remember my 11th year perfectly because my best friend Rhonda and I read the first 3 Dragonlance books. I have no idea how long it took to read them, but I remember laying on my couch in our dingy apartment above a store, pretending it was a tree house and that any minute I would set off for some big adventure. As a teenager, I read all of De Sade, The Decameron and Geek Love by Katherine Dunn all in the same year, a year that I was determined to seek after the seedier elements of my tiny southern town. At 21, I discovered my love of all things WASPY with The Secret History by Donna Tartt and Franny and Zooey by Salinger. My mid-twenties were consumed by Proust, Baudelaire, Rimbaud and Against the Grain by Huysmans.

I was crazy to think that a year could be measure in the amount of books I read instead of the content of the books I read. When I look back on this time, I will remember that I read a few good books, Middlesex...I cant really think of any others of hand, but I know I read a few good ones in a row.

Everything but books

2008-03-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have been reading my mother's hand me down Woman's Day magazines, my favorite blogs: Peterman's Eye and Pink of Perfection , I have been re-reading some old books here and there, and I have been watching many a subtitled film lately. That being said, I am in the middle of seven books and I am not really enjoying any of them, I am re-reading 2 that I will absolutely count towards my 100 IF i finish them, this doesn't bode well. I have reading ADD. If I could harness this voracious reading in one direction, I could actually finish a book or two more, but, alas, I can not be tamed.

56. Chocolat-Joanne Harris

2008-03-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

This book was very similar to the movie, sweeping scenes of grinding spices and folksy French people hanging out with the gypsies. I love it, I watch that movie over and over, it makes me want to go buy a billowy red trench coat and traipse though the hills.

54 & 55

2008-03-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

54. Cradle and All-James Patterson: this book was another quickie. I really don't have much to say about it either. It wasn't bad, but again, it has already begun to fade from my memory.

55. Wear More Cashmere-Jennifer "Gin" Sanders: I am such a sucker for these types of books. This one was great with helpful tips on where to search for antique monogrammed linen
and how to make your undies minty (tea packets). There were also the usual lame tips on how to keep a dream journal and a perfumy bath , but my favorite tips were the awful ones, like: get a glamour shot and building a throne room.

Wear More Cashmere did give me plenty of ideas for decorating and reminded me of my old obsession with other people's initials on my stuff. There is just something about mix-matched silver with dozens of different monograms, it makes me feel like I am descended from silver thieves, a feeling I cherish.

53- The Body Farm-Patricia Cornwell

2008-03-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

I read this book in a day, so that felt pretty satisfying, but there is nothing memorable about it at all. In fact, it is already blurred with other killer books I have read, but it was nice while I was doing it, that's what she said.

52. Marvel 1602-Neil Gaiman

2008-03-12T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sick of several of the books I am reading, so I keep getting half way through one book(Mishima). Then I pick up another(Obama)and I get about half way again, and decided to pick up yet another. All the books I am half way through are good, Mishima is fantastic, but I don't want to be distracted while I read it, so I put it down until I am completely focused, but I never seem to be completely focused. So I need to slip in easy reads sporadically.

Last night I picked up The Body farm-Patricia Cornwell. I have never read any of her books, I read 80 pages before bed, I like that immediate gratification right now.

Spring Break!

2008-03-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

I love free time! I have been cooking and taking pictures. I cleaned my apartment until it sparkles and today one of my good friends is coming to town for sushi and girl talk.

In light of all this excitement, I haven't finished even one book. Whoopsey-daisies. But I am almost done with the Marvel book, so that is something.

Here is my to-do shelf

Guess what?

2008-03-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

I got a camera! I am so excited about taking pictures to accompany my mesmerizing stories. Sadly, I have no stories to tell at this moment. But here is a really ugly picture of my dog.

Midterm Hell

2008-03-04T12:57:00.000-08:00

It is Midterm season around these parts so instead of spending my days lounging in the lovely breezes I am drilling my brain with details that will be quickly forgotten the moment I turn in the exam. I have an exam in 2 hours and I am bored to tears with the subject matter. I can't wait until it is over!

I have been reading bits and pieces of Chocolat, Spring Snow and another book about making friends. I am all over the place these days!

51. The Secret-Byrne

2008-03-01T05:17:00.000-08:00

I am on a bit of an Oprah book kick, oh well. I thought part of this book were super hokey. I wouldn't say mumbo jumbo because I think that it is always a great thing to remind someone that they can still be whoever they want when they grow up. If you are like me, and can enjoy a self-help vook for what it is, then it is good. I thought it was just fine.

My spring break is coming, it is the last big push before my home stretch (not really, but I always thought that spring break could turn things around if I got hell bend on reading my 100) I am into it again, like I said I might be. I am visualizing myself finishing my 100the book on July 3rd at 11:59 pm......

50. Deceptively Delicious- Jessica Seinfeld

2008-02-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

I read every word of this books, so hell yes it counts. If you read my other blog at all you will know that I have a habit of consuming 30+ muffins and other baked goods a month. I am a junky. So I think it is high time that I start making all my own by scratch and even fix them up with some squash and carrot purees to help my peepers and all my precious body parts.

This is marketed for women with kids, but if you eat tons of crap food and have a boyfriend that turns his nose up at anything remotely healthy, it can still be a great addition to your kitchen repertoire.

49. A New Earth- Eckhart Tolle

2008-02-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

This is me on a bandwagon. I thought this book was incredible. I don't have a ton to say about it though, it is a remarkably personal experience and I am not really sure what I would say about it, but I do know that I can't stop cleaning my house. It is true, since the moment I started reading it my apartment has become spotless. At 8 this morning, I mopped. I have never mopped.

I have been trying to get through some other books as well, but things are very slow going. I feel like doing everything else in the world BUT reading.

I picked up Chocolat by Joanne Harris today, I loved the movie, so if that is any indication, it will be very sweet.

48. The Reader- Bernhard Schlink

2008-02-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Just when I made peace with not reading books for speed, I read one in a few hours. C'est la vie. I couldn't put this book down. I had been in the mood for a classic or some old Goethe or Hesse, so this was perfect. It was sensual, erotic, philosophical and just a bit awkward, just like I like'im.

No I am going to go watch a bunch of foreign films because I am in the mood.

47. Under the Tuscan Sun

2008-02-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

Almost to 50, though I have to say that the numbers are becoming less and less important to me. I actually feel silly for counting. What a silly little thing to do, count your readings as though it matters. Then again, that is today, tomorrow could look different to me.

I really liked Under the Tuscan Sun. I was surprised of how different the people were in the book than in the movie. It really was like 2 different stories about buying a villa in Italy. I think I enjoyed the story of the movie better, but liked reading the book because you get the inside look into the recipes and choices of Frances Mayes. I love reading about houses and starting over and cooking, so this was my type of book for sure.

I am reading bits here and there of several books. I am not sure what I am focusing on next. I am reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I know how most of my friends feel about the Oprah. But I picked up this book and was surprised at how un-fluffy it was. I drew me in and I am totally going to take the online class with the big O herself. Judge away, when I am enlightened and walking around on my bliss cloud, who will be laughing then? Not me, because that would be ego, but someone will find it funny.

Me and Floyd

2008-02-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

So this guy, Floyd, did the 100 books in 365 days challenge to himself and we have chatted about the highs and the lows and this was our most recent discussion:

Floyd: How are you doing?

Me: I am not even to 50 and so the months are flying by now. I hate reading right now. I hate feeling like there is a microscope on my reading. I hate people who think the amount of books one reads means anything. I feel like an idiot for even doing this. What a dumbass measure of self-worth.

So does that tell you how I am doing? More and more I think of throwing in the towel and reading 1 book for the rest of the year, maybe the same book a few times. I think it would be better to know 1 book intimately than 100 without absorbing a thing.

But ask me tomorrow and I may read 4 stupid mysteries to feel like I did something

Floyd: Oh my god you do not know how relieved I am to hear you say that!! I mean I'm sorry you're going through those emotions, but at the same time it comforts me to know that someone else is going through those same thoughts and feelings and I'm not a freaking looney after all.

I am literally disgusted with the thought of reading at the moment. And most of the stuff I read during the challenge?? I wouldn't be able to give you a decent summary for more than half of the books I read...even the ones I really liked! Whoever thought up this challenge was a moron.

Me: Yep, I feel dumber for having read 40 books in 6 months.

I just finished Under the Tuscan Sun and I read it in 2 weeks. That felt good. Screw that 1 book every 3 days crap.

Not looking good

2008-02-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

I read 6 books in January, alas, the snowball is growing. Not to be a glum chum, but things are not looking good when it comes to reading 100 books before July 4th. I am going to keep on keepin on, but school is so busy right now and I just don't see catching up from this distance behind. To put it in perspective. I have read 46 books since July 4th, I will have to read more than that, and I just don't see that happening.

Maybe several 500+ books weren't the best choice at the beginning. I don't feel defeated though, I still have a graphic novel, several books that I am half way through already and some skinny little classsic, so who knows maybe I will make it yet.

45. Sight Hound-Pam Houston and 46. Statistics for Dunnies

2008-02-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

I bawled all night after I read this book. It was about an Irish Wolf Hound that has cancer and the lives he touches. The book wasn't great, but the chapters that are good are fantastic, and it is worth reading for those. My favorite chapters were the ones narrated by Dante the Wolf hound.

She wasted so much time trying to act perfectly, trying to guard against the loss, always fearful of making the mistake that would lead to it. My job was to love her in her imperfection, and I did. Even when she left me alone in the car for hours, even when she accidentally closed my neck in the automatic back seat window, even when she came home smelling like another dog. She calls me a miracle: eventually she believed that I loved her, beyond a shadow of a shadow of a doubt.-Sight Hound by Pam Houston

46. Statistics for Dummies, it counts damn it, I read it cover to cover, so shut up.

Type A

2008-01-30T11:31:00.000-08:00

So my type A personality has been rearing its ugly head lately. I have been having heart palpitations, not sleeping very well, and my mind has been racing over things that shouldn't merit a second of my time, let alone a day or a week. It makes me angry. I want to be the kind of person that gets pissed, takes a run, drinks a cocktail then sleeps like a baby. But instead I have a tendency to let things bother me, I mean really bother me. Like gasping for air in the middle of the night and jumping six feet when someone knocks on the door. It is outrageous. I know I am nuts, but that doesn't make anything less uncomfortable.

So I am not reading a lot. I am nearing the end of Sight Hound by Pam Houston, but her main character "Rae" is so much like me that it is creepy. My boyfriend even looked to see where she was from (not NC or PA) just to make sure she hadn't stole my personality. The rest of the book is kind of weird and focuses on all her relationships with her quasi-gay boyfriends and gay colleagues, again very much like times in my life. She even had a boyfriend named Adam that tried to look like Yanni...me too! She is obsessed with her dogs, has so many mommy and daddy issues you lose count and she walked around with a dead bird in her pocket because the feathers were pretty. (yes, okay, shut it, it was a long time ago.)

44- The Murder Stone-Charles Todd

2008-01-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

Oh my god i am not even half way frikkin done with this frikkin reading thing, JESUS! Those are my only feelings right now. Next year I will see how slowly I can read 1 book.

Crazy Old Lady

2008-01-24T15:15:00.000-08:00

I was just on the phone with my mother, she was in the middle of making a mashed potato sandwich and watching Becker...ahhh to be 70.

43. Flu

2008-01-20T15:34:00.000-08:00

Flu:The Story of the Great Influenza Pandemic of 1918 and the Search for the Virus that Caused it by Gina Kolata (get a load of this chick's name....if you like Gina Kolata...)

This book started off very interesting, or maybe it was just fascinating to me because I have an obsession with pandemics and pestilance in general. I always have been interested in these mysterious mass murderers, even as a child I carried around books about the plague. So I loved the telling about the droves of sick folk lining the streets of Boston. However, somewhere in the middle this book got muy muy BORING! It redeemed itself a little at the end, but it was all down hill, and guess what? No cause, no place of origin, it is coming for you one day, beware.

I am very far behind unless I can read 8 books in the next 2 weeks.

42-Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

2008-01-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

This book was wonderful. The story was sweet and tragic in places, but all the characters were endearing. The prose was so beautiful that I ended up reading it really slow and savoring it, but I got sucked in last night and stayed up way too late reading.

It stinks that I am behind in the project because when I read books like this, I like to let it settle in my head a little without distraction. But time is ticking on so I must keep reading.

I am a little over half way in a book about the Flue of 1918, and I am starting Dreams from my Father by Barak Obama and Spring Snow by Mishima. I think I am supposed to read 8 or nine more books this month, HA! That is a funny joke.

Sunday Sunday

2008-01-13T14:21:00.001-08:00

Caveman Porn

2008-01-10T13:30:00.000-08:00

I went into Valley of the Horses by Auel with excitement after enjoying Clan of the Cave Bear so much, but, alas, I am not wading through 500+ pages when I am rolling my eyes on page 75. In Clan there were few sex scenes and they were nondescript and quick, these are just too much for me. They are silly. If I wanted porn, I would read porn. I know a few of my friends swear by these books, sorry, they just aren't my cup of tea.

The lines that did it: (keep in mind that this is page 3 of the same sex scene)

When he heard her gasping in quick pants, he raised up, still kneeling so he could control his penetration, and guided the head of his engorged organ into her untried opening. He gritted his teeth for control as he pushed into the warm, damp, tight well.

There is absolutely a place in the world for a dirty story, but this project is not that place.

BK 41 The Italian Secretary

2008-01-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

This was supposed to be book 11 way back when, but it sucked so I put it aside and read a chapter here and there when I could muster up the will. It sucked bad. It was so dull and I read it in such a gappy fashion that I have no idea what happened. What a disaster.

School is back.

2008-01-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

Well, it is that time again and I did not make as much progress as I make have liked during my break, but who out there really cares? I mean really, am I going to be disowned if I read 88 books, or 75 or 50? I am not even sure if I will conjure up anger for myself. I mean after all, I am on the Dean's list at FSU after my hard core complaining about how tough last semester was. So I think that making the Dean's list, and reading 40 books in 5 months is fucking awesome. If I can do as well for the rest of the year who gives a crap if I don't read 100 exactly.

And that is why I do not feel the slightest bit of guilt for my newest Netflix indulgence. I am watching during the times I used to reserve for reading, I wonder how this will pan out. Tonight it is Pilsner and The Boondock Saints, yay me.

Politics

2008-01-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

91% John Edwards
91% Barack Obama
88% Hillary Clinton
84% Chris Dodd
82% Mike Gravel
81% Joe Biden
78% Dennis Kucinich
77% Bill Richardson
48% Rudy Giuliani
35% John McCain
28% Mike Huckabee
28% Mitt Romney
27% Tom Tancredo
17% Fred Thompson
13% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Multiple Partners

2008-01-05T09:11:00.000-08:00

I was chatting with my very observant and astute friend about how I WAS worried about finishing this project, but how NOW things seem fine because I have all the way until July and I am already at 40 books. Lucky for me (sarcasm), my friend pointed out that that meant I HAVE to read 10 books a month now. I don't know why I was thinking my timing was going so well, originally I had planned to read 10 a month, but that put me way over 100 at 120, so as I got behind, in my head, I was still ahead. But now, of course it makes sense that at 20 behind my original schedule, that actually makes me on schedule to read 10 a month from here on out. Crap.

So this means that I have to read more than one book at a time again. It wouldn't be such a time issue if I would stick to skinny books, but alas, that does not make me feel good about myself. So yes, I may be reading 5 500+ page books all at once, but I do tend to finish more books in a timely fashion that way. And odd as it may seem, it turns out that I read more while I am in school than on break. this is all thanks to the bus system, and long breaks between classes. When I am on break I feel that catching up on my dvd's, learning how to make borscht, and finally painting that ugly bookcase much more pressing.

Middlesex is still my main book; it is beautifully written. I am so stoked that I have been reading such good books all of a sudden.

School break

2008-01-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

I have had too much time on my hands, I feel like this:

25 degrees in FL!

2008-01-03T05:32:00.000-08:00

Are you kidding me? I complain to my long lost loved ones still roughing it in my native land of the Pennsylvania rust belt that I long for the cold. I passionately go on about the winter being in my blood and my desperate need to wear layers upon layers just to get the mail. I tell my friends in North Carolina that "people in Florida are so wimpy, it gets down to 60 and they pull out their faux fur and Uggs". Well my virtual friends, I think that it has happened. I am now a Floridian. I shiver in 50 degree weather, and this morning I was audibly moaning as the wind ripped through my soul when I took the dog out. My best friend lives in Boston where it is a ghastly -11 this morning, but I can't muster up the sympathy because I can no longer understand a cold THAT cold. It has to be a lie, surely humans can't survive that kind of weather.

So on to the books.

We face up to awful things because we can't go around them or forget them, or forget them. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you say "yes, it happened and there's nothing I can do about it" The sooner you can get on with your life. You've got children to bring up. So you've got to get over it. What we have to get over, somehow we do. Even the worst things." The Shipping News- Annie Proulx

I think that The Shipping News is going into my favorite-read-over-and-over book pile. I love the harshness of it. It is cruel and cold and about as non-romantic as you can get, but it is joyful and comforting in the end. I think I am adopting Agnis Hamm as my conscience. I want her bossing me, telling me to buck up, and getting me a cup of tea with sugar and milk.

Middlesex by Jefferey Eugenides is next on the agenda. It's not much thicker than Shippinng News, but I don't think it is going to be a quick read. I snuggled in to bed with it last night and read about 25 pages and the prose was so beautiful that I was doing a great deal of lingering over each page. But as I have been saying lately, it is about the books, not the speed. that doesn't mean I won't slip in a few skinny books on the side, but it does mean I am not going to rush when I need to savor.

When I started this blog way back when, I intended to add a bunch of pictures, but my digital camera broke last summer. So sorry if this is the plainest online journal you have ever seen. I am hoping for a new camera in my future. I will try to be better, but that is not a resolution.

I am so excited. I joined Netflix yesterday!! So, of course, I am going to be watching Clan of the Cave Bear and Shipping News soon. I love the idea of people bringing me stuff. I would get all my stuff by delivery if I could. There would still be milkmen in the world and pretty boys with brown paper bags with my fresh bread. I did mention that I was diagnosed with agoraphobia, right? I am especially bad on holiday from school. Since we got back from Miami (which is always a agorophobe's nightmare) I think I have left my apartment 3 times. But, I walk my dog everyday and occasionally walk to the library, so all is not lost yet. I am getting better. We are even going to a basketball game in 2 weeks, and I am not dreading it yet.

Bk 40 The Shipping News

2008-01-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

I am so sleepy because I was up late playing video games; I love my winter break! I just finished Shipping News, and later I will post so delicious quotations, but right now I am basking in my sleepy and stunned good book after glow.

New Years

2008-01-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

Almost finished with the Shipping News. It is sad in the way that makes me happy. Next I am reading a book about the great flu epidemic, then Middlesex.

New Years was quiet. My boyfriend and I ran ourselves to death in December with 2 trips to Miami back-to-back, nightmare shopping trips Christmas Eve (in malls that were larger than my high school) and we were already physically and emotionally from his big deal at work and my evil final projects. So we are really looking foward to taking it easy for awhile. Though we had planned a night on the town in cosmopolitan Tallahassee, it turned out to be an evening of Yuengling and Xbox instead. Hallelujah.

I love New Year's. It is at the same time both sad and hopeful, and I always think that some kind of slate has been wiped clean. Like some kind of cosmic confession, not that the old year didn't happen, but like it is all okay. That whatever happened is done with and now it is time to keep on truckin'. Like I said, no resolutions, just pats on the back for knowing what I want in this life. I have been very blessed in the last several years and though I do acknowledge that everyday, I rarely share it with others.

A few months ago I thought that I would need Gall Bladder surgery, but I didn't and I am doing well. I almost forgot what it was like to NOT have pain, but thanks to some dietary changes and some shifts in my dealing with stress, I am feeling fantastic and haven't felt crappy in weeks. My dog has recovered from her near death experience and her new medicine is working great. I know it is ridiculous, but I honestly watch her sleeping sometimes and think I could never even love a child that much. I guess we have built in instincts to take care of that, but I really do adore that pup.

I have the most supportive boyfriend, best friend, partner in the world. He is equal parts Ward Cleaver , Andy Garcia and Adam Sandler. A sexy latin lovah with an uncompromising moral compass and the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy. Perfect. He would die if he knew I just wrote that. (that would be the Ward Cleaver part of him) I know exactly how lucky I am.

So heres to giving my life all the praise it deserves.

Bk 39 Dear Dear Brenda

2007-12-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

I slipped one in on the side. I love Shipping News, but I started this other book and it was due back at the library so I finished it up.

Dear Dear Brenda: The Love Letters of Henry Miller to Brenda Venus is my book 39. I have adored Henry Miller since I was 18 and had my first bookstore job. A co-worker told me Henry was depraved and pornographic. I read Crazy Cock that night. It was his first book. It wasn't very good because it was a novel; my real love of him came later with his non-fiction about traveling around the US, tramping in France and retiring in Big Sur. I think I fell in love with him because he was so smart and knew about being sophisticated and a class act but he talked like a sailor and had sex with everything. I like contrast.

This book is heart breaking. I am sure that he always wrote with the expectation that they would be published one day, so I don't think he was exploited or anything, but I think that it is sad to publish these letters because he is a crazy old pervert. He was always a pervert, but he knew what he was doing and he had publishers and editors to help him even it all out. Not that he should be censored, but I just think these letters expose him in a way that he loses credibility. We all get crazy when we are that old, but it is sad to see someone you admire act like a dumb ass over some slutty actress. Maybe I am jealous or just disgusted, I don't know. But I thought it was disturbing.

New Year's resolutions be gone!

2007-12-31T07:24:00.000-08:00

I am not making resolutions this year. That isn't to say that in my head I am not still thinking that this year I will: eat better, be nicer, read more, smile more, care less, care more, and try to get along with my family.

I have had this revelation recently that I am much older than I am in my head. Though this was startling, I think it was a good thing. So I made a bit of a resolution of my own to decide what I really wanted for always and not just of 2008. And in true OCD list making form, I needed to join a social network to do it. Here is my list of things to work towards.

Shipping News is great. I love the stark, chilly atmosphere and the goofy names. I even tried out the name Wavey with my boyfriend's last name. I don't think he will go for it. Wavey Garcia sounds like a chick who sells incense at Phish shows with poopy white girl dreadlocks and lots of jingly anklets.

I am about half way through this book (book 39), and my instincts about feeling a fire under my tushie once the year ended was correct. I do want to read 100 books by July 4th. Compared to some of my goals it is so tiny and it is the only one that other folks are observing, so it would be nice to see it through.

The good/bad news is: I was looking at my Goodread's to-read list and I realized that only about half of those books are on my written up to-read list (that I have toted around since I was a teenager). Additionally, many of the books on the Goodreads list have only been there since I was introduced to that site (by the lovely, talented, trend setting Karla Ann) so it isn't really fair to the books that have been on my list forever to be superseded by all these newcomers. The problem lies in the fact that I can't find my little black book with my written list anywhere. So I am not going to be too strict with following a list, but I am going to do my best not to read any books that I am not interested in. My horizons are plenty expanded who needs new interests.

Can of the Clave Bear #38

2007-12-30T07:14:00.000-08:00

I am finished with CCB. Though I loved the middle parts with Ayla being all defiant and making her way alone, it got a little too spirits and cavemen for me later. I am not a fan of the drug or dream sequence, or vision hippie-crap. I always envision Lou Diamond Phillip's painted up skull face from The Young Guns, and then I just think it is all silly.

I think that I will like the next Auel book even more. The Valley of the Horses is more of Ayla being off by herself doing her thing. I think I am just jealous. I love the idea of burrowing into a cave and fending for myself.

My next book is The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. I have been dying to read this since I saw the movie when it first came out, but alas, my horrid ex-boyfriend's W.A.S.P. mother went to college with Proulx and never stopped gushing about the experience. It wasn't until recently that I could even see the book without her voice blah blah blahing in my head about Vermont and her days as a girl there. Ugg. Why must my grudges extend to literature?

Anyway, I have read 6 chapters so far this morning and I love it! The way it is written is so weird and beautiful; I like the way the sentences are choppy and you have to think about it as you read it to get it all, fantastic. Are all her books written this way? I should check them out despite my misplaced anger towards her.

CCB

2007-12-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

The book I am reading is now referred to as CCB because I am incapable of saying the title now. Can of the Clave Bear, Clan of the Clave Bear.....Can't do it. I am in the 300's and really enjoying it, it is like a drug because I wasn't even sure I like it for a good 200 pages, then I couldn't stop and now I am not even ashamed of it anymore. It IS good, it IS. They aren't crazy, it isn't a cult, it is just THAT good. Yum. Addiction.

The beginning

2007-12-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

Clan of the Cave Bear after 190 pages, is indeed starting to taste like crack. In the good way.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas in Miami was hectic and mad as usual, but festive and tasty. I had a lot of fun, but I am so happy to be home. Finally some well deserved time off after a rough semester and a crazy year.

I tried to read The Dance of Anger on the recommendation of my therapist, but it was so dated and silly to me that I just couldn't get into it at all. And I can dig the touchy feely self-help books sometimes, but this one was just over the top. Oh well, at least it knocks a book off my to-read list.

I am still reading Clan of the Cave Bear and I am really enjoying it, but it hasn't hit a delirious drug-like book lust yet. I am a little over 100 pages. My boyfriend asked me if I am going to watch the movie afterwards. I really don' t know if that is a good idea; I hear it is pretty awful.

I planned on reading all day today, but I got sucked into watching Alias because I got the whole series for Christmas break, and it is so good. I never watched it when it was on so it is all new to me. I still think I will read a good bit though because god knows I don't feel like getting out of bed!

I hope everyone had a Great Christmas.

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

2007-12-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

Everyone told me this book was crap, and that I would hate it. I was ready to hate it after every page, but alas, I didn't hate it at all, yay! It reminded me of Adrian Mole, and it didn't even seem like the narrator was autistic to me. In fact, as far as I am concerned, he makes tons of sense.

I was tested for autism and ausberger's twice when I was a kid, I still think that maybe they were on to something. I am a doofus with math, but everything that guy said about crowds and strangers I am there with him. Not to mention my zillions of other odd traits. Instead of autism, I turned out to be gifted, but my guidance counselor told my mom I was retarded and I wouldn't be able to function by the second grade. Then, of course my mother told me this, so I kept waiting if I would stop "functioning" and I wondered if that meant I would poop my pants, or pass out or something. I was 5. My mother didn't "believe" in children, she said that they were mini-adults and could be told anything. On second thought, I probably don't have autism, thanks mom, thanks for this crazy.

Anywho, I didn't love the book, but I didn't hate it either. It was an easy read, it was endearing and a little sad, but worth a few hours of my life.

I started reading Clan of the Cave Bear. I am sick of looking at it on my reading list, and every girl that has read it goes crazy for it, so hopefully I will too, but if I don't love it in 100 pages, I never will.

Persuasion

2007-12-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I was ready to write this off as boring. Persuasion has been the only Austen novel that I really struggled through, so I went on to Good Reads to see what it is that these Jane Austen groupies liked about it, and though I am not swayed in my opinion. I will never ever ever read it again, I found it endearing that they read such beauty into it.

It was about an aging (27, wow! What a geezer.) woman who was in love with a man in her prime (teen years, it is all down hill from there) that she was persuaded not to marry, blah blah blah years go by and they get together. I think I sleep-read the last 100 pages. It was so boring and I knew the outcome (as do you now, sorry) so it was just agony.

I am 70 pages into Curious Incident...I like it so far, but you know my feelings about reading autistic narrators from the Animals in Translation fiasco, so I am starting a back up. Clan of the Cave Bear,

My boyfriend puts this book in the same category as heroin. He worked at a bookstore for years and likes to relate stories of the ladies scrambling into the store with glazed eyes and foaming lips begging for Jean Auel to come out with a new book. I never really wanted to read this book, but if it comes up my friends do get glossy eyes, so if I like it that much than surely I can make easy work of it and its sequels.

I do remember the scary cave man humping in the movie from the 80's, but that is the only part I remember.

Back on Track

2007-12-17T13:55:00.000-08:00

I am on Christmas vacation, not that that means that I have time to burn (or read 70 books), but it does mean if I am still about this project, then I have an opportunity to catch up some numbers. See, I am really torn up about numbers versus reading-list. I am trying to reconcile that by reading to-read list books in a speedy fashion. So maybe I can reach some kind of compromise in my head.

Today I am finishing up Persuasion, then I will hit the Curious Incident....nighttime book pretty hard. I am afraid to even set a number that I would like to reach by school starting back up in January. I am just going to soldier through as many as I can.

Persuasion is boring me to tears, but it didn't really get dull until I was too far to turn back. It is definately the most boring of all the Austen books. I have 20 pages to go, and I don't even car, I just want to wiki the ending.

Hello

2007-12-11T08:11:00.000-08:00

I am really enjoying Jane Austen's Persuasion. I never claim to be one of those gals that love the Jane Austen, but I have read nearly all of her books, and have liked all of them. I am about half way through, and I am kinda sad that it will be over so quick. I will have to read some more English fluff soon. I also am a sucker for all of the period movies from Austen and Bronte stories. What is it about them? I can watch them over and over. In fact, I have been checking my Tivo schedule to see if I am going to get some Kate Winslet or Emma Thompson.

Next I am going to read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, BUT I really don't know if this book is going to make the cut. There is a dead dog in the first scene, which is no-no with me, and there are herds of people that despise this book, so I may not waste my life on it.

I am sick of making myself soldier through books if they aren't doing it for me. List or no list they get a chance that is it.

Book List

2007-12-04T06:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, I wouldn't say I am not making ANY progress, but I am very stunted in my reading pursuits right now. I am almost finished with The Alienist and I am thinking that Jane Austin's Persuasion is next up. I will say that, though I am not admitting defeat in reading 100 books in a year, I am going to say that it is easy to read 100 books in a year. However, it is difficult to read 100 really good books and savor them accordingly.

I have pretty much thrown the numbers out the window and I am getting back to my reading list. I will be thrilled if I reach 100 with many of my books knocked of my to-do list.

The Alienist was one of my favorite books, this is the first time I have re-read it. I love the seedy post-civil war New York. All Gangs of New York-ish where danger is everywhere. The story isn't as great as I remember, but I am still loving all the NYC references of the day.

Turkey Day

2007-11-23T07:11:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! My boyfriend made a big spread, and played Guitar Hero III. Ahh, the holidays without family. I think that I opened my big mouth to his mom about this being the last one we would stay away for. Oops.

I am hating reading. I have read about 50 pages in Sotheby's: Bidding for Class, about 30 in The Alienist, and about 20 in another. I am horribly horribly behind, and I care less and less. I know I am going to care as soon as I am about 3 months from finishing and it will be a disaster. I hope something happens to make me care again, but I am being very rebellious from my little project.

Fever

2007-11-18T10:46:00.000-08:00

I just finished Fever 1793 by Anderson. Why do I love reading about disease? Ever since I did a history report on the Black Plague in the 8th grade it has been love between me and filthy pestilence. And yes, it was a kid's book and I am counting it.

So, I am ready to say screw it to this project, not because I can't do it, but it is just silly. I want to read what I want to read when I want to read it. I don't want to take in consideration how many pages, how fast, etc...I am not quitting though.

Why read 10 shitty book instead of 1 good one, what was I thinking? I should have made the project to only read books from my list, regardless of how many I read. One book from my list should make me happy, not 50 crap books.

Maybe next year I will only re-read my favorite books, or read one book 2 times, or something.

Stress is yummy

2007-11-14T09:28:00.001-08:00

Just in case I wasn't busy enough with being a full time student, taking care of my ailing, yet hyper dog, reading 100 books in a year, being a perfect homemaker, taking care of my bombshell body, hobbling the long walk from school with a painful and annoying broken toe, my childhood bff and I have decided to write a book, and I am making my first attempt at looking into an internship.

Mania is beautiful, until it isn't. I am starting to feel a little over-taxed, but I have come to the Zen conclusion that if something doesn't get done, then something just doesn't get done. The world won't cease to turn. At least I don't think that the world is turning because I figure out SQL or my dishes are done by bed time, let's hope not.

The Roomating Season

2007-11-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

The title of this book is atrocious, but I read the first page and decided to give it a go. I still have a ton of stripped books left over from my previous bookstore career, so every once and awhile I try to go through the pile to see if there is anything left to salvage.

the Roomating Season by Jona Raffe was pretty good. It was a girly book, I guess it was chick lit but I reserve that term for books I hate. It was a story told by an old lady about her and her roommates in the 1960's in New York City. Amidst the searching for a husband and the task of readying up the hope chest, it was a nice look at how single girls operated right before the era of free love. I found it delightful.

Now I am having an epiphany. I hate this project. I hate that I said I would read 100 books in a year. Because I am reading a lot of crap that I would have never even picked up, and my lonely to-read list is just looking at me like "remember me?"

Some days I decide screw it, and only plan on reading what I want, other days I think, but i SAID 100 books, I can't just stop. So I am perplexed. the difficulty lies in the fact that most my to-read books I still have to buy, or they are 1000 pages, or just difficult.

Now I am starting Out of Africa, it IS on my list, so that makes me happy.

Rubbish

2007-11-07T09:51:00.001-08:00

Book #32 was A Calculated Risk by Katherine Neville. Now this book was way way way outdated. The computer things were very funny. Normally I love Neville's books because they are so well researched and so smart. Even if she is talking about a gal taking a shower, she is drinking scotch and listening to Vivaldi before she cuddles up in her Egyptian sheets with her Vizsla. There was a little hint of this in that the main character was obsessed with white orchids and chess, but it just wasn't enough to overpower the horrific love scenes.

Ewww. The were awkward and just awful. I kept picturing the dude about 30 years older than he was and the dialog was just embarrassing. I actually had to squint to block out the horror of it all. Gag. I will add a quote when I get home, just so you can feel my pain.

It is chilly here and the boy sitting beside me smells like hot wing sauce. My cue to leave.

Odd Thomas

2007-11-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

I finished Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, and despite the fact that I really and truly enjoyed his characters, I have no real desire to real any more of his books. There was just something I didn't like about his writing.

Always she has sought a life utterly without stress, without contention, She acknowledges no duty to another, no responsibility to anyone but herself.

She would never call this selfishness. To her it is self-defense, for she finds the world enormously more demanding than she is able to tolerate.-Odd Thomas-Dean Koontz

I had wanted to be 40 books in by now, but as you see I am a mere 31. I plan on reading 10 books very fast. I am half way through A Calculated Risk by Katherine Neville. It is funny because it is all about technology/security and bank robbery, but it is set in 1992. So she is describing what a "Techie" is an stuff, it is cracking me up. Being a tekkie myself, it is pretty funny, but I remember well the days of hackers and cyberpunks. I couldn't have cared less about technology then though. Two years ago all I could do was check my email, things can change so fast.

2007-11-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

Yay, I hit 30!

1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris
11. Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell
12. Philosophy for Beginners-Osborne
13. Stuart:A Life Backwards-Alexander Masters
14. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher
15. How to Cook a Wolf- MFK Fisher
16. The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum-Izzo
17. A Slender Thread-Diane Ackerman
18.Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier
19. Triple-Ken Follett
20.Sleeping Tiger-Rosamund Pilcher
21.French Women for all Seasons-Mirielle Guilano
22. A Year in the Merde-Stephen Clarke
23. An Open Life-Joseph Campbell
24. Yellow Jack- John R. Peirce
25. Ender's Game- Orson Scott Card
26. Embraced by the Light- Betty Eadie
27. The Quiet American- Graham Greene
28. Nickel and Dimed-Barbara Ehrenreich
29. Possible Side Effects- Augusten Burroughs
30. The Historian- Elizabeth Kostova

The Historian was not the worst time I have ever had, but looking back I feel like that could have been 600+ pages of time better spent. It wasn't bad, really. It just didn't get to that place you thought it was getting to. I think she could have wrote all that into 300 pages, then told us more about the actual plot, and it would have been good. I don't have a quote, it wans't that kind of dazzle you language. It kinda is pissing me off the more I think about it because it should have been a good book. It was a great idea and she messed it all up.

This week I have been feeling like this project is stupid. I am reading a lot of books this year, but I think next year I will focus on reading 50 important books, or even just 50 from my list. My list is rough, and I had wanted to whittle it down a bit, but it isn't a speed competition sort of list. I am seeing the error of my ways. Now I am going to end up reading a ton of crap that I would have never even read instead of working on my to-read list. I am a dummy

Scaredy cat

2007-10-31T13:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am usually not creeped out easily. Things that scare me are real things, or maybe I should say tangible things. Not monsters, demons or supernatural things, but serial killers, rapists and ex-boyfriends scare the shit out of me. However, years of living alone have made me pretty savvy. I always have a dog with an attitude, plenty of hidden weapons, and an escape route, just in case.

So, I have been lulled into a false sense of security, until I decided to get myself in the mood for Halloween this year. I am reading The Historian, a book about Dracula that is too too slow to be frightening, and anyway...Dracula, not scary. I am also reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, the premise guy talking to dead people isn't scary to me, however, there is a creepiness to deal with. And the murders that happen in the book are done by people, not spirits, and people ARE scary.

I also rented 1408, which made me jump a few time and was a bit creepy because of my house obsession. I watched Slither too, not scary, but funny and It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

3 nights in a row now I have had nightmares. The first I was a medic in the aftermath of the apocalypse, can you say bloody? Then night 2 I was chased by a vagrant with a knife during a black-out, and last night I dreamed I was itching my new tattoo and my fingers dug into my arm to the bone...gross.

So that is it, I am becoming soft in my old age, no more horror for me, after 8 only non-horror books. What a baby.

Possible Side Effects

2007-10-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

She was surprisingly intelligent. Which sounds like a mean thing to say except it's not, really. What I mean is that Druggy Debby had an intelligence that surprised. You could had her your broken radio and she'd pull a screwdriver out of her hair and have it fixed for you in five minutes flat. And then she'd tune it to the only station in western Massachusetts that played punk rock and Etta James. A station you'd never heard before, even though you lived there your whole life.
She knew things. She knew how things worked. Druggy Debby truly understood Einstein's theory of relativity and described the world of quantum mechanics as "all about potential, doll face." Possible Side Effects-Augusten Burroughs

I have been having a weird week, not bad relatively, but weird. I broke my toe, my stupid middle toe, I burnt my hand, my left hand, and I just keep dropping things, having weird dreams and just having bad ju-ju in general.

But my ultrasound results were good, so I don't need surgery or anything right now! Yippie.
This is great news. I have been blissful, except for my clumsiness. The weather is fantastic, and though I am super busy with school, it is the good busy. The kind where I have a lot of things to do, but they are easy, just time-consuming.

Reading is going okay. I have been into The Historian. It is good, I think. It is just really drawn out, and there isn't much action. I keep expecting something to happen, and nothing does. I also isn't nearly as snobby as I was lead to believe. I like my historical fiction to leave me feeling like I need to do some research.

I just got of the phone with my boyfriend, and he told me he didn't trick or treat growing up, that broke my heart.

Happiness

2007-10-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

I love the weather and I love this photograph.

Harvest

2007-10-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

So, I mentioned that I have mid-terms this week, but for me that entails so much more than studying and preparing for the exams. I have may hours of avoidance tasks I simply must do when I am super busy NOT doing my school work. Such as, making a beautiful beefy harvest stew, and finally making some good progress on a lovely earth-toned afghan I started last winter. NOT studying for mid-terms finally gave me the inspiration to clean the nooks and crannies of my window sill, watch Blood Diamond and play Syberia.

On top of that, I actually did end up slipping a little studying in. As far as reading, I read a couple chapters of Augusten Burrough's Possible Side effects and a few in When Rabbit Howls. I am into crazies right now being that officially am one myself. I should make easy work of Burroughs and hit the big 30 soon. I am trying to decide what I will do if I reach the 100 goal early. I am thinking that I will then try to see how far I can take it. So it will be 100 books in a year, then how many books can I read in a year. I am getting ahead of myself though, best not to jinx it.

Xanax and productivity

2007-10-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

I love Xanax. I have been a little stressed lately with all the hub-bub, and to top it off it is mid-term time, but with my happy pills I finished 2 books this week!

The Quiet American by Graham Greene is my 27th book. I adored this movie and that is why I read the book. I do wish I had read it first, but not too much was lost. I did get a little bored at times, but not enough to get annoyed, his writing is really good and there is just something about imperialism I love reading about. I really like the feel of this book, it is seedy without being at all dirty. It is dreary, but not miserable and everyone is likable.

From childhood I had never believed in permanence, and yet I had longed for it. Always I was afraid of losing happiness. This month, next year, Phuong would leave me. If not next year, than in three years. Death was the only absolute value in my world. Lose life and one would lose nothing again for ever. I envied those who could believe in a God and I distrusted them. I felt they were keeping their courage up with a fable of the changeless and the permanent. Death was far more certain than God, and with death there would be no longer the daily possibility of love dying. The nightmare of a future boredom and indifference would lift.-The Quiet American-Graham Greene

Book 28 is Nickel and Dimed: On (not) getting by in America. This was a wonderful read; it was certainly nothing new for me. It was a little like a trip down memory lane. Trying to make it as an unskilled worker in the US, is my heritage. Waiting tables, retail and house cleaning, the family business. For anyone, who has lived this drudgery, this is a good book. It isn't overly political, it is just a day to day account of trying to making the choice between a roof over your head, or nutritious food. It was excellent.

There are no secret economies that nourish the poor; on the contrary, there are a host of special costs. If you can't put up the two months' rent you need to secure an apartment, you end up paying through the nose for a room by the week. If you have only a room, with a hot plate at best, you can't save by cooking up huge lentil stews that can be frozen for the week ahead. You eat fast food or the hot dogs and Styrofoam cups of soup that can be microwaved in a convenience store.- Nickel and Dimed- Barbara Ehrenriech

The rest of my life is fine. Things are smashing and peachy. Tonight my handsome Latin lover and I will order in Asian dumplings and watch The Office. What could be better?

Embraced by the Light

2007-10-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

I know I have some hard core ethiest readers and some devout Christian readers; I have, at times been both. I try to keep an open mind, but I believe what I believe, and it is very personal. I read Embraced by the Light by Betty Eadie today. It is about a woman who dies and sees heaven, Jesus, and the whole kit and caboodle.

Now normally, I would write this off as hokie baloney, but something about it was very sweet. I don't care if it is true, it is a pretty way to see things. I feel that way about religion in general, who cares about the facts, the facts don't aways give me what I need. Sometimes the stories do.

I understood that life is lived most fully in the imagination-that, ironically, imagination is the key to reality. This is something I never would have supposed. We are sent here to live life fully, to live it abundantly, to find joy in our own creations, whether they are new thoughts or things or emotions or experiences. We are to create our own lives, to exersize our gifts gifts and experience both failure and success. We are to use our free will to expand and magnify our lives.-Embraced by the Light- Betty Eadie

Tattoo and Follett

2007-10-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

First of all,

For the first time, ender felt like laughing. He smiled. the other boys near him were laughing t the moment, too, for another reason. They think I'm smiling at their joke, thought Ender,. But I'm smiling at something funnier.- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.

I am reading a slew of great books right now, so the project is moving along at a nice steady and smooth pace. I am very pleased with this batch of contestants. It makes my job much easier.

Also, I am thrilled at Ken Follett's World Without End coming out! Woo Hoo. His Pillars of the Earth was my favorite of last winter. I read it in good time because I am ready for the sequel, but I am going to wait until I finish a few to give it a lot of my attention. It is a monster though, so I wont be lugging it around.

No Health News, yet. Hopefully, I will have answers soon, I am starting to feel like I am on one of those medical mystery shows. I am not digging my Belladonna pills, they give you a killer hang over.

I got a new tattoo today, it was kinda ouchy. Maybe my pain threshold is getting wimpier as I get older. I am in love with it, it is perfect. My inner right arm never looked so good, I got a traditional swallow.

Okay, I am going to make some progress in The Historian. I like it, but it seems to be so slow.

Alive

2007-10-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

I kinda dropped out for a little bit, but I finished Ender's Game and I really really liked it, so I will catch up on that later.

My dog got her ultrasound, and she has Pulmonary Stentosis. She will be on medicine forever, but she could still live for many years. Woo hoo. Doesn't she look sick of hospitals?

I get my ultrasound tomorrow, so it is my turn to find out news. I am much less nervous about mine than hers. I do not, however, like the prospect of fasting. I can't have breakfast tomorrow, and that is my very very favorite meal of the day. In fact, I think coffee and toast, sweets, cereal, eggy wegs and cured meats ARE the reason I am a morning person, but it has been all flax seed smoothies lately, so hopefully once I know what plagues me I will be on the highway back to bacon and black coffee. Actually, I may just go have a cup-a-joe now as a final meal sort of thing before they tell me I can never have it again.

School is starting to feel a little overwhelming in light of all the medical issues lately, but I am tying to look at it as something to devote my time to instead of letting it drown me, I am prone to that.

Joseph Campbell and Yellow Fever

2007-10-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Book 23: I adore Joseph Campbell. He is another one of those people, like Diane Ackerman, I could read over and over and never get sick of. There is something about the way he puts things that makes everything he says just cut you up, in a good way.

( I am a little behind, but still in a good place.)

You can't ask somebody to give The Reason, but you can find one for yourself; you decided what the meaning of your life is to be. People talk about the meaning of life; there is o meaning of life- there are lots of meanings of different lives, and you must decide what you want your own to be.-An Open Life: Joseph Campbell in conversation with Michael Toms.

Book 24: I also finished Yellow Jack: How Yellow Fever Ravaged america and Walter Reed Discovered its Deadly Secrets

This book was good, it was a little dull in the middle and end where there was endless lists of mosquito types and squabbling in the medical community. (FYI: Carlos Finlay, a Cuban really discovered the source of yellow fever.) The beginning was great with all the crazies in Philly that thought yellow fever was coming from rotting coffee grinds and miasmas. It was also vile when some doctors were injecting poo and various biles into people to see how contagious it was, oh and in Cuba they had volunteers live in a cabin for 18 days with soiled, rotting poo filled sheets hanging from the rafters.....medicine is awesome.

2007-09-30T14:23:00.001-07:00

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

From Mary Oliver's The Summer Day.

Merde

2007-09-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

I just finished Stephen Clarke's A Year in the Merde about an English guy who goes into business with the French to open a tea house in Paris. It was okay. There wasn't anything fantastic about it, but it was moderately entertaining.

No quotes, nothing really struck me. I thought about just opening to any page and inserting a paragraph, but that doesn't seem fair to books that earn their quotations. Not that this book was bad, it was fine. And it makes 22 books. I am about 7 books behind schedule. Not too bad.

What else? Oh, I met a guy on Goodreads.com that started reading 100 books in a year in mid-January. He isn't doing so hot, but hopefully I can use some of his mistakes as my inspiration. I certainly don't want to have to cram the last few months in. I am trying to read a little more often.

French Women Same old, Same old

2007-09-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

I could read Entre Nous a million times. I love that book; it makes me feel good and gives me real pointers on ways to enrich myself. Not change who I am, just improve. This French Woman crap lectured by Mireille Guiliano makes me want to eat at McDonald's wearing sweats and a ball cap just to be as unFrench as possible.

I know that the two books: Entre Nous and French Women blah blah blah, say some similar things. But The Entre Nous is more of a make no apologies be more of who you are not less, don't compromise whereas Guilano's book is more of a check list to be like her. Exactly what to eat, say, act, yuck. I think checking off a list of your character traits makes you pretty silly.

Eww

2007-09-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the book went there. Girl sets off me meet man she thought was her father and they fall in love and get married. I think this cures me from my Pilcher obsession for the time being.

" I think that is the way a house should be. It should evolve like the people who live in it." -Sleeping Tiger- Rosamund Pilcher

Hiding Place

2007-09-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

I found a nice hiding place at school today. In the Math building there is a large, but not often used stairwell with huge Nazi architecture-looking windows that make me feel like I am in an experiment. I like it in here though, it is quiet and the only people you see are either out the window and just blobby figures, or total math geeks that are more embarrassed about being caught here than you.

It is rainy today; I love the rain since I moved to Florida. In fact, any weather that isn't hot and sunny is welcome to me. I have never been a fan of the summertime, I like Autumn, Winter and Spring, but Summer is just hot. I like the odd swim here and there and I love Tomatoes and Strawberries, but I am just waiting for fall. I am definitely not living in the right state, but I love my life here, even though it is usually sweaty and damp.

I am doing great in Calculus, can you believe it? I hardly passed anything in there last semester, and now I am miss speed demon during the quizzes. I am still worried about the tests though. I get major anxiety when faced with math tests. Suddenly I can't even count, it is bizarre.

In the world of books I am almost finished with another Rosamund Pilcher book. I am not enjoying it nearly as much as I usually enjoy her stuff. Maybe over kill. it is possible that her books are too sweet and I need to pace myself as with chocolate or krispy-kreme. I am reading Sleeping Tiger. It is about a young woman who goes in search of her father in Spain (whom she thought was dead.) I think the direction it is going is that the dude isn't her father, and is a possible love interest. Creepy? I am thinking a little incest romance may not be a page turner, but I will let you know.

I have been beating myself up because half of the reason for doing this book project was to diminish my to-read list, and frankly, it has grown. So after this little spell of books, I am reading list books only for a little while. I think there is a part of me that doesn't want to lessen the to-read list. It has been my companion for so long, ya know. I have been getting emails from dailylit.com with excerpts from Proust's Swann's Way and Zola's Therese Raquin. I read Swann's Way years ago and I wanted a refresher because I would like to read the rest of Remembrance of Things Past. I won't count it though. As far as the Zola, I am enjoying my little blurbs so much I may count it because I think I will end up picking up the real book some day soon. I recommend dailylit.com it is nice to have a ditty waiting in your email box.

Well, sorority girls invaded my sanctuary, so much for a hiding place.

Triple

2007-09-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

I finally finished a book, sheesh. Triple by Ken Follett was okay. It was a little dated about certian things, but I like that in a book. A world before cell phones and computers. I can't imagine how difficult the lives of spies were before modern technology. You know, it was a pretty good book now that I think about it. Not many authors could make me interested in covert military stuf in the 60's involving the Soviets, Israel and Palestine, and I kept up fine without knowing anything about that time.

I don't have a quote, nothing really stood out like that, but I do recommend Follett he is kinda raw and masculine, but it isn't too offensive and he always gives his men folk compassion, unlike his harlot women. But at least his harlots are always smart.

I am trying to keep up in school, take care of my dog and get so reading me time. It is going pretty well. As long as I keep it moment to moment I am okay. I can't think ahead of myself or I get overwhelmed. I am being mindful. (for my fans that hate Oprah terms, you may laugh at that last statement. It was for you.)

Cola

2007-09-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

My dog, Cola has been diagnosed with heart disease and heart failure. She is only 3 and she is otherwise very healthy, so I have faith that she will live as long as she can. She will see a heart specialist in a few weeks for an ultrasound that will tell us the exact state of things in her ticker. For those of you who pray, pray for her, and those of you who don't, raise a glass to her.

I have been reading here and there. Mostly I am trying to finish Triple by Follett. I like Follet and his Pillars of the Earth, but he writes women so strangely. The are usually strong and ambitious and intelligent, but they are always really whorey too. They go from bun wearing intellectual to wanton foul-mouth sluts in about one sentence. It is okay, it is just funny that there is never a transition.

Neglect

2007-09-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

I know I have really been neglecting this whole project thing, but I have made steady progress here and there. I don't think I am too far behind.

I was all excited when I finished Rebecca because I was going to post my first 20 books, then I realized I never finished The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, so I have only read 18 books. I am going to post them anyway just to catch up.

And then I open the door and go to the dining-room, where he is sitting waiting for me at a table, and I think how in that moment I have aged, and passed on, how I have advanced one step towards and unknown destiny. Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier.

I enjoyed this book a lot, it was creepy and neurotic, and I like that.

Other things are going well, school has been smooth sailing so far, but now the assignments are starting to roll in. I do have the insufferable group projects to contend with again, but so far, my group seems pretty good. Hallelujah.

One of my issues lately has been my dog. Well, after she got better from the nasty sickness this summer, she got a hellacious ear infection. (she smelled liked feet.) And during the exam they discovered that her little heart murmur is now a big heart murmur and we have to get a chest x-ray to look at her ticker. I am getting the x-rays in the next several months. She has been coughing which isn't a great sign. I love my pup, I don't know what I would do with out her.

My health has been better. I am a walking pharmacy.

I am trying to stay positive though because God knows, things have been a lot worse. I love my fella, my pooch, my apartment and all my new accouterments. (thank you financial aid shopping sprees.)

This first 18 books.
1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris
11. Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell
12. Philosophy for Beginners-Osborne
13. Stuart:A Life Backwards-Alexander Masters
14. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher
15. How to Cook a Wolf- MFK Fisher
16. The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum-Izzo
17. A Slender Thread-Diane Ackerman
18.Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier

I am super duper behind, but no fear my fans, I am in the middle of a bunch of books so it will seem like I am real behind then I will finish 5 in a week. It works like that for me. I have my bus book, my bed book, my too heavy to carry around book, the pool book...you get the idea.
Thanks for being patient. I have been horrible entertainment for you lately.

Saturday

2007-09-08T15:25:00.000-07:00

I never ever feel like writing. I think I am way too private a person to have a blog. Let's just say I have stuff going on. I liked writing more when to one read this, no offense.

I have been reading Rebecca. It is so creepy. I am enjoying it, but I am not slobbering all over it like so many people do. From my days working at the books store, I still get these images of these freaks who love this book. Another funny fan club is those chicks that are crazy for Clan of the Cave Bear. Their eyes actually film over when they talk about Auel. Don't get me wrong, I am aware that I have no room to judge. (note previous love fest for Pilcher) and anyway I am totally going to read Auel's books.

So it is all about Rebecca right now, I am a little over half way through and this makes my 19th or 20th book, so I will get a list together to post.

I am going to see Bourne Ultimatum tonight. I am excited. I love international intrigue.

Library

2007-09-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

I have been reading for the last couple days, but mixing this project with school and life's other unexpected challenges is going to be more difficult than I thought.

I did, however, finish A Slender Thread by Diane Ackerman.

Today I perceive the world much the same way as I did in my teens and twenties. But I process the world differently. the steep sensations don't frighten me. The intensity hasn't changed, but it has become familiar and manageable, I don't feel so much in its thrall, and at times I can summon or ignore it. If you can survive the first rapids of discovering you have a terrifyingly intimate relationship with the world, then you'll get used to it, treasure it, and life my eventually calm down. A Slender Thread- Diane Ackerman

I saw in the FSU View that Crisis Hot Line Volunteers were needed, and since that is what this book is about, I damn near called. What a fiasco that would have been. I am not the best person to turn to with your fears about life. I am sure the first caller having a panic attack would then send me into fits too and it would be mayhem. I can handle large scale crisis, but if you start asking the "what is it all for?" questions, I go into a tail spin.

School is going well so far this semester despite the health set backs and my dog is sick AGAIN! I am just trying to not think of the big picture. The big picture makes me nuts.

Whoa, I have been awake 3 hours, it is nap time.

Loser

2007-08-30T18:18:00.001-07:00

I haven't read a page in 2 days. Argh.

Beginners

2007-08-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

I finished Philosophy for Beginners today. I really like the for beginners books; they are like reading the Sunday funnies only you learn a lot. I am totally counting this book even though it is all pictures and only184 pages. A girl needs a break sometimes.

I feel like this project has gone to pot, probably because my number system is fucked, but I will pull it together. Every 10 or so books I will do a recap so we can all keep it honest. I am pooped today. The thrill is gone, but it is temporary.

I also finished The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum. I like etiquette books even if I am not exactly the picture of class myself. (note frequent and nonsensical usage of f-word) Maybe that is the reason I like these books, like, how can one possibly avoid telling others to f-off or calling certain folks douches. It is beyond me at times. This book, however, is lame. I think it even went into to "fuck-buddy" etiquette...please. First rule of decorum is discretion, sheesh.

Island

2007-08-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

If I were stranded on an island and could only read one person's writing over and over it would be Diane Ackerman. I am reading A Slender Thread. It is about her time as a crisis center volunteer and about the squirrels in her back yard. Her prose is so rich and full of poetry one minute and very sociological the next, delicious. And as far as the island thing, she has written about a million books, so I wouldn't run out for a long time.

School is back. I was able to read a ton today though because I have a huge break on Mondays. I think Monday will be my official catch-up if I am behind on reading day. This is the semester that Florida State isn't going to beat me. I am determined to do well and not be miserable.

Lazy

2007-08-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

I have hardly read at all the last 2 days; I think it is because school is looming on Monday. Back to the shit. There is a part of me that is excited. The Fall semester is always awesome, it is the other semesters I hate. So tonight I am loading up my Ipod and making all kinds of promises to myself about how I will watch less TV, listen to more NPR and try to enjoy school.

I am reading just not in a very organized way.

Blackouts and Rice Pudding

2007-08-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

I just finished How to Cook a Wolf by MFK Fisher. I love that lady.

If you are used to drinking, and can, it is pleasant to have whiskey or a good stable wine in your cupboard. A glass in your hand makes the ominous sky seem very high above you.- How to Cook a Wolf - MFK Fisher (How to deal with the blackouts)

I can't imagine blackouts, preserving fuel for cooking or getting excited over canned meat. I guess I am pretty lucky in that respect. This book was a lot about coping with less than fabulous ingredients to make life cozy; it is a worthy read, but the food is definitely dated. Sherry party, anyone?

I wasn't feeling too well this morning when I finished Fisher's book, but I was in that reading zone, so I just grabbed the closest book I could reach from my bed. It is Ken Follett's Triple. I am not sure if I will finish it or not, but I did really enjoy his Pillars of the Earth, the funny thing is that after reading about Sherry all morning, the characters in the book really went to an honest to goodness Sherry party. I thought that was serendipitous.

I plan on reading a lot today. The days are flying by, and before I know it I will be back to the daily grind. I may as well soak it in while I can. Oh my god, can I use more cliches in this closing? I am making myself sicker.

Stuart

2007-08-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

So Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters isn't that good, or interesting. I don't necessarily suggest it, but there was something touching about it by the end. Stuart was a miserable bastard and he may have been one whether he had had his fucked up life or not, but you can't help but look at his little kid picture and wonder. It was very sad, I just don't think it was written well. It us a crying shame because I love the backwards idea.

Is this the way to characterize the chaotic: they are people for whom forgetting has become more important than remembering? Is this a trite observation? Of course a chaotic person like Stuart wants to forget. He's been raped by his brother, raped by his teachers, bullied by school friends, told he's evil by the social services , spent eight years of his life with his nose stuck in a bag of glue, three more with his veins impaled on the end of a syringe, tattooed FUCK in letters big enough for a road sign down his right arm, and thinks the police are hiding cameras in his kitchen ventilation grate. Who wouldn't want to forget a life like that? Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters.

I am progressing here and there. I can't believe school starts in less than a week. I am trying to keep on top of reading while cleaning house. I will have no time for the next few months, so I should at least start with a clean slate.

I really want to walk to this groovy looking vintage shop today, but it is so hot, and I have residual Xanax from last night. (long story, minor health issues, not clubbing) I am afraid I will just get to the shop the feel like an overheated crackhead and turn around and leave. Maybe I will just chillax instead. Yes, I said chillax.

House

2007-08-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

I finished The Empty House this morning. I don't care what you say, I loved it. I could read descriptions of the inside of English farmhouses all day and it doesn't matter what is going on inside of them.

Sunk into the folds of her coat,hands deep in its pockets, she looked about her and decided that never had she been in a room so welcoming, so secure. There were beams in the ceiling, with old iron hooks for smoking hams, and deep window sills crammed with flowering geraniums. There was a huge stove where the kettle simmered, and a caned chair with a cat curled in its seat,and there was a grain merchant's calendar and curtains of checked cotton and the smell of warm baking bread. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher

It is an obsession with me, I know. When I was a kid my parents had a junk/antique business, and I would save all the old cooking magazines and home decorating books and just gaze at them for hours. I was fascinated by people who cared about their environment and ate real food. In our house dinner came from a can and was served in front of episodes of the A-team or 20/20. My mom is still fascinated by the fact that she produced a daughter that thinks an ideal day is shopping for and then cooking an old fashioned meal. (that being anything that you can not make in a microwave.) She thinks I am some weirdo repressed throw-back to the olden times.

She was very excited though when I came across a recipe in MFK Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf that has been in our family for 3 generations. Granted there ARE can goods involved, but it WAS the war time, ya know. I think that when I found the recipe, it finally occurred to her that food wasn't a duty I was trying to perform, but that food does have emotional significance. I just want to provided my future generations with a little more substance to pass on. I don't want my legacy to be canned chili mixed with Velveeta = nachos. (as delicious as that may be.) I am by no means a food snob, but I think it is important to know the difference between real food and mystery concoctions though they both have their place in my world.

Books

2007-08-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I am reading a lot, I just haven't been finishing anything. I am almost through Stuart: A Life Backwards. It is a biography about a homeless man, but it starts in current times and we work back to all the possible factors in his life that may have got him where he is. This book was written in my to-read book twice, so I had high hopes. It isn't bad, but I don't like it. Stuart doesn't conjure up much sympathy, and it is a shame because it is a very sad story. I do empathize with him, but he really just doesn't ever grow on you. It is also very English, so sometimes it is hard to understand the school and public assistance terms. School levels, the dole, hostel programs etc. In the end my favorite thing about this book is the title.

I love old houses. Ever since I was a little girl I have reoccurring dreams of houses; I am renovating, redecorating, moving in, moving out, gardening, getting ready for a party, I am always busy fixing up my home. It has been many different kinds of houses and even a couple apartments. So it stand to reason that any author that can recreate that feeling for me, I am going to eat them up. Rosamund Pilcher does that for me. Scottish girly romantic cheesy...say what you will, but that lady can make a cozy scene. Right now I am over half way through The Empty House, and I love it. Unusual cottage by the sea, cooking over the ancient fireplace, and being left to your own devices. Lovely.

I am reading several others too, but those are the ones keeping me occupied.

Argh

2007-08-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

I had to put aside my first book. Caleb Carr's The Italian Secretary is just awful, but since I have read 224 pages, I will probably finish it at some point within the year. I have a tendency to push through books I hate; this is a habit I would like to be cured of. There are so many wonderful books out there, so why should I torture myself. I think it is mixed feelings of failure, and also I have loved Caleb Carr's other books. Sometimes I put so much faith in an author that I think maybe it is me, maybe there is something I just don't get.

So, on a positive note, I am really enjoying MFK Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf. It makes me want to pull together all the resources I can to make fabulous dinners for people in wartime. Fortunately, I will probably never have to use this knowledge, but I don't want it to be lost. It is so interesting. I recommend it to everyone interested in food, cooking or women.

Brain Melt

2007-08-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

It is god awful hot. I has been this hot for days and days, but since most of my time is spent inside (except the 30 times a day I take my dog out) I don't care so much. But since I get a little nutsy when I am alone too much, on this vacation, I am making it a priority to get out. I don't drive, so I walk. So when I go far, I walk far. And thus, I actually feel ill from being in the heat too much today. I feel disgusting.

I did, however, visit my therapist. She approve of the book thing I am doing, I thought she wouldn't, so that is a relief. She even got all giddy and gave me some book suggestions, silly therapist.

I don't want to list all the books I am reading and what pages I am on. Let's suffice it to say. I am approaching the middle of about 5 books. I am like some ADD book monster. If you are desperate to know just what I am reading you can peek here. But in all honesty, once a book has a number, it is like I am obligated to finish it, and that wasn't working for me at all. I will give it a number at its finish until then I am allowed to put it down at will.

ADD

2007-08-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

I really do have book ADD right now. I am still trudging through the books I started, but I needed something different. I went to the library (I have been too ashamed after my delinquent $16 from Christmas break) and I browsed around for hours. I forgot how simple and wonderful it felt to walk down rows and rows of books and know I could take anyone of them home. When I was about 11, I used to ride my bike to the library, and like a true OCD kid, I would start at the first book on a shelf and read all the way to the last book on the shelf. I think this is why I read an abnormal amount of historical fiction. Evidently that was the shelf of choice that summer. Nowadays, I usual know exactly which books I want to read and which ones I don't, but it is nice sometimes to just let myself be drawn to the books. Hopefully I am inspired now.

More and more

2007-08-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am not doing well. I guess I am making progress, but it isn't fun, inspiring progress. It is that exciting "can't put it down" excitement I was looking for. I am reading very sporadically. A chapter here in Caleb Carr's book (slow p 145), A chapter or two there in Stuart: A Life Backwards (it is good, and I am enjoying it but something is getting in the way. p 136), and I am supplementing them with a dose of the cheesy philosophy book. I am a sucker for these comic book dumbing down of scholarly stuff. But I just am not riveted, and I want to be. I think tonight I will just grab random books from my shelf and see if they are what I need right now.

I am definitely enjoying my time off from school. I am lounging around the house like a lazy cat.

Sunday

2007-08-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

I finished Sarah Vowell today. I really like her even though we may be polar opposites. I enjoy her best when she is talking about history and not so much about her family, but this book as a bunch of both.

The thing I love most about the goth club is how passive it is. Hardly anyone talks to anyone else. It is free of the normal social pressures to smile and interact and appear content. There's nothing of that getting-to-know-you pick up line crap. In fact, the mood in antithetical to pickups; it's more like stay away. No one cares if you dance. No one cares if you don't. As someone who often dreads strangers, the antisocial nature of this social situation makes me feel communal and part of something-one of us. Like, hey, I hate talking to you too! The mutual disgust is completely liberating.- Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell.

I am also on page 115 of The Italian Secretary. Let me just say, I loved The Alienist. I even liked Angel of Darkness a lot. I love Sherlock Holmes too. So why, oh why, do I not love this book? I am not ready to say that I don't like it, yet. I will just say it is slow moving and not very satisfying.

I haven't been reading as much as planned because I have had a very festive week with my boyfriends graduation and my birthday, but this week I will speed things up.

Due to the slow as molasses Caleb Carr book, I am adding 2 more books today to spice up my life a bit.

Book Project
Book 13- Philosophy for Beginners- Richard Osborne p.184
Book 14- Stuart: A Life Backwards- Alexander Masters p. 299

It is my birthday. I am 31. Ouch.

Moving Along

2007-08-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

I finish Book 10 this morning, so I am making progress.

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange. -Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris

Books 1-10 July 4-August 7

1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris

Book Project
Book 11- The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr p 338
Book 12-Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell p 219

Get to Work

2007-08-06T05:09:00.001-07:00

It is time to get serious about catching up and trying to get ahead now. I hope to make speedy progress through the next few books. Technically I am right on schedule, but with a financial aid battle looming ahead and then the busy fall semester, we are getting into panic attack season.

Every semester I play this game with the financial aid office. They say I am going to get loads of cash, then they say I am getting nothing. I get in turn excited, and devastated, fight and cry and yell, they tell me, okay okay, you will get a little tiny bit. I get relieved. Then the give me a ton of cash in tiny enough increments, that I still get behind in bills, so all the "extra' is used for late fees. I love college. Well, evidently this is the time when a ton is promised, but there is an 'issue" so I can't get it. They can't tell you anything on the phone, they can't answer email and in person, they say, well, you are all set....no holds showing up here. And when you get home, there is a big red sentence about a hold on your account. argh.

I did finish And Then There Were None last night. It was an easy good read, that took me weeks to finish for some reason. (Harry Potter distractions.)

Crime and its punishment has always fascinated me. I enjoying reading every kind of detective story and thriller. I have devised for my own private amusement the most ingenious ways of carrying out a murder. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie

Book Project
Book 10-Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.

Graduation

2007-08-04T12:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay. My boyfriend graduated today and his very large, very loud family is in town. There has been a plethora of food, festivities and lots of arguing about what we are doing next. I am roughly in the middle of Agatha Christie, read 1 David Sedaris story and have thumbed through a few others. I am anxious to get started, but have to take care of family business first. I am going to get it together soon.

Done

2007-08-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, my Harry Potter distractions are over and I am ready continue. I am only going to say I am very satisfied with the conclusion of the series and I got my closure.

I am reading And Then There Were None now; I am on p. 32, it is good but it is kind of confusing because there are so many characters to keep track of. And as you know, that is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Tomorrow I have my last final. I am stoked about having a few weeks off, but I have to try and get something productive taken care of. I think maybe I will get rid of all my useless junk and start getting ahead on my subjects for the fall. I know that is super dorky, but you are talking to a person reading 100 books for fun. Do you expect anything different? Anyway, I am sick of hating school and I want to try to give a crap again. It is hard to though once you fall into that apathetic foggy zone.

Time to feed the dog.

Biggins

2007-07-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so it is hard to find anything to report. I am really enjoying my Potter love fest. I am in the mid-300's.

I am also studying for my written finals in speech, my actual speech went okay, but i had that gross dry-lip smacky thing happening. How embarrassing.

I am getting ready for my tri-annual financial aid battle. It should be a good one because I forgot to photocopy my 1040...oops. I am also considering an internship, it would be nice to have something to do. than again, I think my schedule is going to be pretty rough this fall. We'll see.

So beginning Saturday, I am going to try to knock out a book a day until school starts for fall. That isn't a strict guideline though, so don't hold me to it.

Nighty night

No Spoilers

2007-07-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

I admit it I have had Harry Potter fever. I really don't want to talk about it because for one, I am not proud that I have jumped on that band wagon. And two, I know how hard it is to avoid knowing anything about these books if you are trying to read them.

I finished Harry Potter 6, and I am on page 200 of 7. I wanted to go ahead and read the new one asap. To get it over with, and to finish before it was ruined for me.

All is well, I am putting away hundreds of pages a day. As soon as I am done with Rowling, I will continue with the Agatha Christie book so I will be back on track.

Long Book

2007-07-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

I am still reading the 6th Harry Potter. I have barely skimmed the surface of And Then then There Were None.

So on the book front there just really isn't much to report.

On a dorkier note I was up until 2:00 playing Fable. What a tragedy, now I am too pooped to finish writing my speech, too pooped to read and really have just enough energy to play Fable, yet I shouldn't play until I am finished with my speech and my reading pre-rec for the day. (today it is 130 pages. That is pretty fast-paced in J.K. Rowling)

So the plan is to watch CBS Sunday Morning, drink my coffee and also work on speech, finish up speech, read Potter, run around and clean up apartment just enough to justify spending the rest of the day playing Fable.

Yippie

2007-07-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

I am done with the fucktard boys! No more "team work" at school. I couldn't be happier. The presentation was a fiasco, but it is over! This semester is almost finished. Hopefully the fall will bring good things. I have really hated my return to higher education so far. There is no turning back now though, I am already up to my ears in debt. I just need to get through it.

I haven't read a page today. Not one single page. I am going to make up for it this evening since my beau is in Miami and it is just me and my vicious attack dog.

I am thinking some Harry Potter, some fancy smoked oyster hors d'oeuvre and some crappy re-runs.