I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

From Mary Oliver's The Summer Day.

Merde

I just finished Stephen Clarke's A Year in the Merde about an English guy who goes into business with the French to open a tea house in Paris. It was okay. There wasn't anything fantastic about it, but it was moderately entertaining.

No quotes, nothing really struck me. I thought about just opening to any page and inserting a paragraph, but that doesn't seem fair to books that earn their quotations. Not that this book was bad, it was fine. And it makes 22 books. I am about 7 books behind schedule. Not too bad.

What else? Oh, I met a guy on Goodreads.com that started reading 100 books in a year in mid-January. He isn't doing so hot, but hopefully I can use some of his mistakes as my inspiration. I certainly don't want to have to cram the last few months in. I am trying to read a little more often.

French Women Same old, Same old

I could read Entre Nous a million times. I love that book; it makes me feel good and gives me real pointers on ways to enrich myself. Not change who I am, just improve. This French Woman crap lectured by Mireille Guiliano makes me want to eat at McDonald's wearing sweats and a ball cap just to be as unFrench as possible.

I know that the two books: Entre Nous and French Women blah blah blah, say some similar things. But The Entre Nous is more of a make no apologies be more of who you are not less, don't compromise whereas Guilano's book is more of a check list to be like her. Exactly what to eat, say, act, yuck. I think checking off a list of your character traits makes you pretty silly.

Eww

Yeah, the book went there. Girl sets off me meet man she thought was her father and they fall in love and get married. I think this cures me from my Pilcher obsession for the time being.

" I think that is the way a house should be. It should evolve like the people who live in it." -Sleeping Tiger- Rosamund Pilcher

Hiding Place

I found a nice hiding place at school today. In the Math building there is a large, but not often used stairwell with huge Nazi architecture-looking windows that make me feel like I am in an experiment. I like it in here though, it is quiet and the only people you see are either out the window and just blobby figures, or total math geeks that are more embarrassed about being caught here than you.

It is rainy today; I love the rain since I moved to Florida. In fact, any weather that isn't hot and sunny is welcome to me. I have never been a fan of the summertime, I like Autumn, Winter and Spring, but Summer is just hot. I like the odd swim here and there and I love Tomatoes and Strawberries, but I am just waiting for fall. I am definitely not living in the right state, but I love my life here, even though it is usually sweaty and damp.

I am doing great in Calculus, can you believe it? I hardly passed anything in there last semester, and now I am miss speed demon during the quizzes. I am still worried about the tests though. I get major anxiety when faced with math tests. Suddenly I can't even count, it is bizarre.

In the world of books I am almost finished with another Rosamund Pilcher book. I am not enjoying it nearly as much as I usually enjoy her stuff. Maybe over kill. it is possible that her books are too sweet and I need to pace myself as with chocolate or krispy-kreme. I am reading Sleeping Tiger. It is about a young woman who goes in search of her father in Spain (whom she thought was dead.) I think the direction it is going is that the dude isn't her father, and is a possible love interest. Creepy? I am thinking a little incest romance may not be a page turner, but I will let you know.

I have been beating myself up because half of the reason for doing this book project was to diminish my to-read list, and frankly, it has grown. So after this little spell of books, I am reading list books only for a little while. I think there is a part of me that doesn't want to lessen the to-read list. It has been my companion for so long, ya know. I have been getting emails from dailylit.com with excerpts from Proust's Swann's Way and Zola's Therese Raquin. I read Swann's Way years ago and I wanted a refresher because I would like to read the rest of Remembrance of Things Past. I won't count it though. As far as the Zola, I am enjoying my little blurbs so much I may count it because I think I will end up picking up the real book some day soon. I recommend dailylit.com it is nice to have a ditty waiting in your email box.

Well, sorority girls invaded my sanctuary, so much for a hiding place.

Triple

I finally finished a book, sheesh. Triple by Ken Follett was okay. It was a little dated about certian things, but I like that in a book. A world before cell phones and computers. I can't imagine how difficult the lives of spies were before modern technology. You know, it was a pretty good book now that I think about it. Not many authors could make me interested in covert military stuf in the 60's involving the Soviets, Israel and Palestine, and I kept up fine without knowing anything about that time.

I don't have a quote, nothing really stood out like that, but I do recommend Follett he is kinda raw and masculine, but it isn't too offensive and he always gives his men folk compassion, unlike his harlot women. But at least his harlots are always smart.

I am trying to keep up in school, take care of my dog and get so reading me time. It is going pretty well. As long as I keep it moment to moment I am okay. I can't think ahead of myself or I get overwhelmed. I am being mindful. (for my fans that hate Oprah terms, you may laugh at that last statement. It was for you.)

Cola

Hey everyone,

My dog, Cola has been diagnosed with heart disease and heart failure. She is only 3 and she is otherwise very healthy, so I have faith that she will live as long as she can. She will see a heart specialist in a few weeks for an ultrasound that will tell us the exact state of things in her ticker. For those of you who pray, pray for her, and those of you who don't, raise a glass to her.

I have been reading here and there. Mostly I am trying to finish Triple by Follett. I like Follet and his Pillars of the Earth, but he writes women so strangely. The are usually strong and ambitious and intelligent, but they are always really whorey too. They go from bun wearing intellectual to wanton foul-mouth sluts in about one sentence. It is okay, it is just funny that there is never a transition.

Neglect

I know I have really been neglecting this whole project thing, but I have made steady progress here and there. I don't think I am too far behind.

I was all excited when I finished Rebecca because I was going to post my first 20 books, then I realized I never finished The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, so I have only read 18 books. I am going to post them anyway just to catch up.

And then I open the door and go to the dining-room, where he is sitting waiting for me at a table, and I think how in that moment I have aged, and passed on, how I have advanced one step towards and unknown destiny. Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier.

I enjoyed this book a lot, it was creepy and neurotic, and I like that.

Other things are going well, school has been smooth sailing so far, but now the assignments are starting to roll in. I do have the insufferable group projects to contend with again, but so far, my group seems pretty good. Hallelujah.

One of my issues lately has been my dog. Well, after she got better from the nasty sickness this summer, she got a hellacious ear infection. (she smelled liked feet.) And during the exam they discovered that her little heart murmur is now a big heart murmur and we have to get a chest x-ray to look at her ticker. I am getting the x-rays in the next several months. She has been coughing which isn't a great sign. I love my pup, I don't know what I would do with out her.

My health has been better. I am a walking pharmacy.

I am trying to stay positive though because God knows, things have been a lot worse. I love my fella, my pooch, my apartment and all my new accouterments. (thank you financial aid shopping sprees.)

This first 18 books.
1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris
11. Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell
12. Philosophy for Beginners-Osborne
13. Stuart:A Life Backwards-Alexander Masters
14. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher
15. How to Cook a Wolf- MFK Fisher
16. The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum-Izzo
17. A Slender Thread-Diane Ackerman
18.Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier

I am super duper behind, but no fear my fans, I am in the middle of a bunch of books so it will seem like I am real behind then I will finish 5 in a week. It works like that for me. I have my bus book, my bed book, my too heavy to carry around book, the pool book...you get the idea.
Thanks for being patient. I have been horrible entertainment for you lately.

Saturday

I never ever feel like writing. I think I am way too private a person to have a blog. Let's just say I have stuff going on. I liked writing more when to one read this, no offense.

I have been reading Rebecca. It is so creepy. I am enjoying it, but I am not slobbering all over it like so many people do. From my days working at the books store, I still get these images of these freaks who love this book. Another funny fan club is those chicks that are crazy for Clan of the Cave Bear. Their eyes actually film over when they talk about Auel. Don't get me wrong, I am aware that I have no room to judge. (note previous love fest for Pilcher) and anyway I am totally going to read Auel's books.

So it is all about Rebecca right now, I am a little over half way through and this makes my 19th or 20th book, so I will get a list together to post.

I am going to see Bourne Ultimatum tonight. I am excited. I love international intrigue.

Library

I have been reading for the last couple days, but mixing this project with school and life's other unexpected challenges is going to be more difficult than I thought.

I did, however, finish A Slender Thread by Diane Ackerman.

Today I perceive the world much the same way as I did in my teens and twenties. But I process the world differently. the steep sensations don't frighten me. The intensity hasn't changed, but it has become familiar and manageable, I don't feel so much in its thrall, and at times I can summon or ignore it. If you can survive the first rapids of discovering you have a terrifyingly intimate relationship with the world, then you'll get used to it, treasure it, and life my eventually calm down. A Slender Thread- Diane Ackerman

I saw in the FSU View that Crisis Hot Line Volunteers were needed, and since that is what this book is about, I damn near called. What a fiasco that would have been. I am not the best person to turn to with your fears about life. I am sure the first caller having a panic attack would then send me into fits too and it would be mayhem. I can handle large scale crisis, but if you start asking the "what is it all for?" questions, I go into a tail spin.

School is going well so far this semester despite the health set backs and my dog is sick AGAIN! I am just trying to not think of the big picture. The big picture makes me nuts.

Whoa, I have been awake 3 hours, it is nap time.