Bk 39 Dear Dear Brenda

I slipped one in on the side. I love Shipping News, but I started this other book and it was due back at the library so I finished it up.

Dear Dear Brenda: The Love Letters of Henry Miller to Brenda Venus is my book 39. I have adored Henry Miller since I was 18 and had my first bookstore job. A co-worker told me Henry was depraved and pornographic. I read Crazy Cock that night. It was his first book. It wasn't very good because it was a novel; my real love of him came later with his non-fiction about traveling around the US, tramping in France and retiring in Big Sur. I think I fell in love with him because he was so smart and knew about being sophisticated and a class act but he talked like a sailor and had sex with everything. I like contrast.

This book is heart breaking. I am sure that he always wrote with the expectation that they would be published one day, so I don't think he was exploited or anything, but I think that it is sad to publish these letters because he is a crazy old pervert. He was always a pervert, but he knew what he was doing and he had publishers and editors to help him even it all out. Not that he should be censored, but I just think these letters expose him in a way that he loses credibility. We all get crazy when we are that old, but it is sad to see someone you admire act like a dumb ass over some slutty actress. Maybe I am jealous or just disgusted, I don't know. But I thought it was disturbing.

New Year's resolutions be gone!

I am not making resolutions this year. That isn't to say that in my head I am not still thinking that this year I will: eat better, be nicer, read more, smile more, care less, care more, and try to get along with my family.

I have had this revelation recently that I am much older than I am in my head. Though this was startling, I think it was a good thing. So I made a bit of a resolution of my own to decide what I really wanted for always and not just of 2008. And in true OCD list making form, I needed to join a social network to do it. Here is my list of things to work towards.

Shipping News is great. I love the stark, chilly atmosphere and the goofy names. I even tried out the name Wavey with my boyfriend's last name. I don't think he will go for it. Wavey Garcia sounds like a chick who sells incense at Phish shows with poopy white girl dreadlocks and lots of jingly anklets.

I am about half way through this book (book 39), and my instincts about feeling a fire under my tushie once the year ended was correct. I do want to read 100 books by July 4th. Compared to some of my goals it is so tiny and it is the only one that other folks are observing, so it would be nice to see it through.

The good/bad news is: I was looking at my Goodread's to-read list and I realized that only about half of those books are on my written up to-read list (that I have toted around since I was a teenager). Additionally, many of the books on the Goodreads list have only been there since I was introduced to that site (by the lovely, talented, trend setting Karla Ann) so it isn't really fair to the books that have been on my list forever to be superseded by all these newcomers. The problem lies in the fact that I can't find my little black book with my written list anywhere. So I am not going to be too strict with following a list, but I am going to do my best not to read any books that I am not interested in. My horizons are plenty expanded who needs new interests.

Can of the Clave Bear #38

I am finished with CCB. Though I loved the middle parts with Ayla being all defiant and making her way alone, it got a little too spirits and cavemen for me later. I am not a fan of the drug or dream sequence, or vision hippie-crap. I always envision Lou Diamond Phillip's painted up skull face from The Young Guns, and then I just think it is all silly.

I think that I will like the next Auel book even more. The Valley of the Horses is more of Ayla being off by herself doing her thing. I think I am just jealous. I love the idea of burrowing into a cave and fending for myself.

My next book is The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. I have been dying to read this since I saw the movie when it first came out, but alas, my horrid ex-boyfriend's W.A.S.P. mother went to college with Proulx and never stopped gushing about the experience. It wasn't until recently that I could even see the book without her voice blah blah blahing in my head about Vermont and her days as a girl there. Ugg. Why must my grudges extend to literature?

Anyway, I have read 6 chapters so far this morning and I love it! The way it is written is so weird and beautiful; I like the way the sentences are choppy and you have to think about it as you read it to get it all, fantastic. Are all her books written this way? I should check them out despite my misplaced anger towards her.

CCB

The book I am reading is now referred to as CCB because I am incapable of saying the title now. Can of the Clave Bear, Clan of the Clave Bear.....Can't do it. I am in the 300's and really enjoying it, it is like a drug because I wasn't even sure I like it for a good 200 pages, then I couldn't stop and now I am not even ashamed of it anymore. It IS good, it IS. They aren't crazy, it isn't a cult, it is just THAT good. Yum. Addiction.

The beginning

Clan of the Cave Bear after 190 pages, is indeed starting to taste like crack. In the good way.

Merry Christmas

Christmas in Miami was hectic and mad as usual, but festive and tasty. I had a lot of fun, but I am so happy to be home. Finally some well deserved time off after a rough semester and a crazy year.

I tried to read The Dance of Anger on the recommendation of my therapist, but it was so dated and silly to me that I just couldn't get into it at all. And I can dig the touchy feely self-help books sometimes, but this one was just over the top. Oh well, at least it knocks a book off my to-read list.

I am still reading Clan of the Cave Bear and I am really enjoying it, but it hasn't hit a delirious drug-like book lust yet. I am a little over 100 pages. My boyfriend asked me if I am going to watch the movie afterwards. I really don' t know if that is a good idea; I hear it is pretty awful.

I planned on reading all day today, but I got sucked into watching Alias because I got the whole series for Christmas break, and it is so good. I never watched it when it was on so it is all new to me. I still think I will read a good bit though because god knows I don't feel like getting out of bed!

I hope everyone had a Great Christmas.

Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

Everyone told me this book was crap, and that I would hate it. I was ready to hate it after every page, but alas, I didn't hate it at all, yay! It reminded me of Adrian Mole, and it didn't even seem like the narrator was autistic to me. In fact, as far as I am concerned, he makes tons of sense.

I was tested for autism and ausberger's twice when I was a kid, I still think that maybe they were on to something. I am a doofus with math, but everything that guy said about crowds and strangers I am there with him. Not to mention my zillions of other odd traits. Instead of autism, I turned out to be gifted, but my guidance counselor told my mom I was retarded and I wouldn't be able to function by the second grade. Then, of course my mother told me this, so I kept waiting if I would stop "functioning" and I wondered if that meant I would poop my pants, or pass out or something. I was 5. My mother didn't "believe" in children, she said that they were mini-adults and could be told anything. On second thought, I probably don't have autism, thanks mom, thanks for this crazy.

Anywho, I didn't love the book, but I didn't hate it either. It was an easy read, it was endearing and a little sad, but worth a few hours of my life.

I started reading Clan of the Cave Bear. I am sick of looking at it on my reading list, and every girl that has read it goes crazy for it, so hopefully I will too, but if I don't love it in 100 pages, I never will.

Persuasion

I was ready to write this off as boring. Persuasion has been the only Austen novel that I really struggled through, so I went on to Good Reads to see what it is that these Jane Austen groupies liked about it, and though I am not swayed in my opinion. I will never ever ever read it again, I found it endearing that they read such beauty into it.

It was about an aging (27, wow! What a geezer.) woman who was in love with a man in her prime (teen years, it is all down hill from there) that she was persuaded not to marry, blah blah blah years go by and they get together. I think I sleep-read the last 100 pages. It was so boring and I knew the outcome (as do you now, sorry) so it was just agony.

I am 70 pages into Curious Incident...I like it so far, but you know my feelings about reading autistic narrators from the Animals in Translation fiasco, so I am starting a back up. Clan of the Cave Bear,

My boyfriend puts this book in the same category as heroin. He worked at a bookstore for years and likes to relate stories of the ladies scrambling into the store with glazed eyes and foaming lips begging for Jean Auel to come out with a new book. I never really wanted to read this book, but if it comes up my friends do get glossy eyes, so if I like it that much than surely I can make easy work of it and its sequels.

I do remember the scary cave man humping in the movie from the 80's, but that is the only part I remember.

Back on Track

I am on Christmas vacation, not that that means that I have time to burn (or read 70 books), but it does mean if I am still about this project, then I have an opportunity to catch up some numbers. See, I am really torn up about numbers versus reading-list. I am trying to reconcile that by reading to-read list books in a speedy fashion. So maybe I can reach some kind of compromise in my head.

Today I am finishing up Persuasion, then I will hit the Curious Incident....nighttime book pretty hard. I am afraid to even set a number that I would like to reach by school starting back up in January. I am just going to soldier through as many as I can.

Persuasion is boring me to tears, but it didn't really get dull until I was too far to turn back. It is definately the most boring of all the Austen books. I have 20 pages to go, and I don't even car, I just want to wiki the ending.

Hello

I am really enjoying Jane Austen's Persuasion. I never claim to be one of those gals that love the Jane Austen, but I have read nearly all of her books, and have liked all of them. I am about half way through, and I am kinda sad that it will be over so quick. I will have to read some more English fluff soon. I also am a sucker for all of the period movies from Austen and Bronte stories. What is it about them? I can watch them over and over. In fact, I have been checking my Tivo schedule to see if I am going to get some Kate Winslet or Emma Thompson.

Next I am going to read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, BUT I really don't know if this book is going to make the cut. There is a dead dog in the first scene, which is no-no with me, and there are herds of people that despise this book, so I may not waste my life on it.

I am sick of making myself soldier through books if they aren't doing it for me. List or no list they get a chance that is it.

Book List

Okay, I wouldn't say I am not making ANY progress, but I am very stunted in my reading pursuits right now. I am almost finished with The Alienist and I am thinking that Jane Austin's Persuasion is next up. I will say that, though I am not admitting defeat in reading 100 books in a year, I am going to say that it is easy to read 100 books in a year. However, it is difficult to read 100 really good books and savor them accordingly.

I have pretty much thrown the numbers out the window and I am getting back to my reading list. I will be thrilled if I reach 100 with many of my books knocked of my to-do list.

The Alienist was one of my favorite books, this is the first time I have re-read it. I love the seedy post-civil war New York. All Gangs of New York-ish where danger is everywhere. The story isn't as great as I remember, but I am still loving all the NYC references of the day.

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving! My boyfriend made a big spread, and played Guitar Hero III. Ahh, the holidays without family. I think that I opened my big mouth to his mom about this being the last one we would stay away for. Oops.

I am hating reading. I have read about 50 pages in Sotheby's: Bidding for Class, about 30 in The Alienist, and about 20 in another. I am horribly horribly behind, and I care less and less. I know I am going to care as soon as I am about 3 months from finishing and it will be a disaster. I hope something happens to make me care again, but I am being very rebellious from my little project.

Fever

I just finished Fever 1793 by Anderson. Why do I love reading about disease? Ever since I did a history report on the Black Plague in the 8th grade it has been love between me and filthy pestilence. And yes, it was a kid's book and I am counting it.

So, I am ready to say screw it to this project, not because I can't do it, but it is just silly. I want to read what I want to read when I want to read it. I don't want to take in consideration how many pages, how fast, etc...I am not quitting though.

Why read 10 shitty book instead of 1 good one, what was I thinking? I should have made the project to only read books from my list, regardless of how many I read. One book from my list should make me happy, not 50 crap books.

Maybe next year I will only re-read my favorite books, or read one book 2 times, or something.

Stress is yummy

Just in case I wasn't busy enough with being a full time student, taking care of my ailing, yet hyper dog, reading 100 books in a year, being a perfect homemaker, taking care of my bombshell body, hobbling the long walk from school with a painful and annoying broken toe, my childhood bff and I have decided to write a book, and I am making my first attempt at looking into an internship.

Mania is beautiful, until it isn't. I am starting to feel a little over-taxed, but I have come to the Zen conclusion that if something doesn't get done, then something just doesn't get done. The world won't cease to turn. At least I don't think that the world is turning because I figure out SQL or my dishes are done by bed time, let's hope not.

The Roomating Season

The title of this book is atrocious, but I read the first page and decided to give it a go. I still have a ton of stripped books left over from my previous bookstore career, so every once and awhile I try to go through the pile to see if there is anything left to salvage.

the Roomating Season by Jona Raffe was pretty good. It was a girly book, I guess it was chick lit but I reserve that term for books I hate. It was a story told by an old lady about her and her roommates in the 1960's in New York City. Amidst the searching for a husband and the task of readying up the hope chest, it was a nice look at how single girls operated right before the era of free love. I found it delightful.

Now I am having an epiphany. I hate this project. I hate that I said I would read 100 books in a year. Because I am reading a lot of crap that I would have never even picked up, and my lonely to-read list is just looking at me like "remember me?"

Some days I decide screw it, and only plan on reading what I want, other days I think, but i SAID 100 books, I can't just stop. So I am perplexed. the difficulty lies in the fact that most my to-read books I still have to buy, or they are 1000 pages, or just difficult.

Now I am starting Out of Africa, it IS on my list, so that makes me happy.

Rubbish

Book #32 was A Calculated Risk by Katherine Neville. Now this book was way way way outdated. The computer things were very funny. Normally I love Neville's books because they are so well researched and so smart. Even if she is talking about a gal taking a shower, she is drinking scotch and listening to Vivaldi before she cuddles up in her Egyptian sheets with her Vizsla. There was a little hint of this in that the main character was obsessed with white orchids and chess, but it just wasn't enough to overpower the horrific love scenes.

Ewww. The were awkward and just awful. I kept picturing the dude about 30 years older than he was and the dialog was just embarrassing. I actually had to squint to block out the horror of it all. Gag. I will add a quote when I get home, just so you can feel my pain.

It is chilly here and the boy sitting beside me smells like hot wing sauce. My cue to leave.

Odd Thomas

I finished Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, and despite the fact that I really and truly enjoyed his characters, I have no real desire to real any more of his books. There was just something I didn't like about his writing.

Always she has sought a life utterly without stress, without contention, She acknowledges no duty to another, no responsibility to anyone but herself.

She would never call this selfishness. To her it is self-defense, for she finds the world enormously more demanding than she is able to tolerate.-Odd Thomas-Dean Koontz

I had wanted to be 40 books in by now, but as you see I am a mere 31. I plan on reading 10 books very fast. I am half way through A Calculated Risk by Katherine Neville. It is funny because it is all about technology/security and bank robbery, but it is set in 1992. So she is describing what a "Techie" is an stuff, it is cracking me up. Being a tekkie myself, it is pretty funny, but I remember well the days of hackers and cyberpunks. I couldn't have cared less about technology then though. Two years ago all I could do was check my email, things can change so fast.

Yay, I hit 30!

1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris
11. Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell
12. Philosophy for Beginners-Osborne
13. Stuart:A Life Backwards-Alexander Masters
14. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher
15. How to Cook a Wolf- MFK Fisher
16. The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum-Izzo
17. A Slender Thread-Diane Ackerman
18.Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier
19. Triple-Ken Follett
20.Sleeping Tiger-Rosamund Pilcher
21.French Women for all Seasons-Mirielle Guilano
22. A Year in the Merde-Stephen Clarke
23. An Open Life-Joseph Campbell
24. Yellow Jack- John R. Peirce
25. Ender's Game- Orson Scott Card
26. Embraced by the Light- Betty Eadie
27. The Quiet American- Graham Greene
28. Nickel and Dimed-Barbara Ehrenreich
29. Possible Side Effects- Augusten Burroughs
30. The Historian- Elizabeth Kostova

The Historian was not the worst time I have ever had, but looking back I feel like that could have been 600+ pages of time better spent. It wasn't bad, really. It just didn't get to that place you thought it was getting to. I think she could have wrote all that into 300 pages, then told us more about the actual plot, and it would have been good. I don't have a quote, it wans't that kind of dazzle you language. It kinda is pissing me off the more I think about it because it should have been a good book. It was a great idea and she messed it all up.

This week I have been feeling like this project is stupid. I am reading a lot of books this year, but I think next year I will focus on reading 50 important books, or even just 50 from my list. My list is rough, and I had wanted to whittle it down a bit, but it isn't a speed competition sort of list. I am seeing the error of my ways. Now I am going to end up reading a ton of crap that I would have never even read instead of working on my to-read list. I am a dummy

Scaredy cat

Okay, I am usually not creeped out easily. Things that scare me are real things, or maybe I should say tangible things. Not monsters, demons or supernatural things, but serial killers, rapists and ex-boyfriends scare the shit out of me. However, years of living alone have made me pretty savvy. I always have a dog with an attitude, plenty of hidden weapons, and an escape route, just in case.

So, I have been lulled into a false sense of security, until I decided to get myself in the mood for Halloween this year. I am reading The Historian, a book about Dracula that is too too slow to be frightening, and anyway...Dracula, not scary. I am also reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, the premise guy talking to dead people isn't scary to me, however, there is a creepiness to deal with. And the murders that happen in the book are done by people, not spirits, and people ARE scary.

I also rented 1408, which made me jump a few time and was a bit creepy because of my house obsession. I watched Slither too, not scary, but funny and It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

3 nights in a row now I have had nightmares. The first I was a medic in the aftermath of the apocalypse, can you say bloody? Then night 2 I was chased by a vagrant with a knife during a black-out, and last night I dreamed I was itching my new tattoo and my fingers dug into my arm to the bone...gross.

So that is it, I am becoming soft in my old age, no more horror for me, after 8 only non-horror books. What a baby.

Possible Side Effects

She was surprisingly intelligent. Which sounds like a mean thing to say except it's not, really. What I mean is that Druggy Debby had an intelligence that surprised. You could had her your broken radio and she'd pull a screwdriver out of her hair and have it fixed for you in five minutes flat. And then she'd tune it to the only station in western Massachusetts that played punk rock and Etta James. A station you'd never heard before, even though you lived there your whole life.
She knew things. She knew how things worked. Druggy Debby truly understood Einstein's theory of relativity and described the world of quantum mechanics as "all about potential, doll face." Possible Side Effects-Augusten Burroughs

I have been having a weird week, not bad relatively, but weird. I broke my toe, my stupid middle toe, I burnt my hand, my left hand, and I just keep dropping things, having weird dreams and just having bad ju-ju in general.

But my ultrasound results were good, so I don't need surgery or anything right now! Yippie.
This is great news. I have been blissful, except for my clumsiness. The weather is fantastic, and though I am super busy with school, it is the good busy. The kind where I have a lot of things to do, but they are easy, just time-consuming.

Reading is going okay. I have been into The Historian. It is good, I think. It is just really drawn out, and there isn't much action. I keep expecting something to happen, and nothing does. I also isn't nearly as snobby as I was lead to believe. I like my historical fiction to leave me feeling like I need to do some research.

I just got of the phone with my boyfriend, and he told me he didn't trick or treat growing up, that broke my heart.

Happiness

I love the weather and I love this photograph.

Harvest

So, I mentioned that I have mid-terms this week, but for me that entails so much more than studying and preparing for the exams. I have may hours of avoidance tasks I simply must do when I am super busy NOT doing my school work. Such as, making a beautiful beefy harvest stew, and finally making some good progress on a lovely earth-toned afghan I started last winter. NOT studying for mid-terms finally gave me the inspiration to clean the nooks and crannies of my window sill, watch Blood Diamond and play Syberia.

On top of that, I actually did end up slipping a little studying in. As far as reading, I read a couple chapters of Augusten Burrough's Possible Side effects and a few in When Rabbit Howls. I am into crazies right now being that officially am one myself. I should make easy work of Burroughs and hit the big 30 soon. I am trying to decide what I will do if I reach the 100 goal early. I am thinking that I will then try to see how far I can take it. So it will be 100 books in a year, then how many books can I read in a year. I am getting ahead of myself though, best not to jinx it.

Xanax and productivity

I love Xanax. I have been a little stressed lately with all the hub-bub, and to top it off it is mid-term time, but with my happy pills I finished 2 books this week!

The Quiet American by Graham Greene is my 27th book. I adored this movie and that is why I read the book. I do wish I had read it first, but not too much was lost. I did get a little bored at times, but not enough to get annoyed, his writing is really good and there is just something about imperialism I love reading about. I really like the feel of this book, it is seedy without being at all dirty. It is dreary, but not miserable and everyone is likable.

From childhood I had never believed in permanence, and yet I had longed for it. Always I was afraid of losing happiness. This month, next year, Phuong would leave me. If not next year, than in three years. Death was the only absolute value in my world. Lose life and one would lose nothing again for ever. I envied those who could believe in a God and I distrusted them. I felt they were keeping their courage up with a fable of the changeless and the permanent. Death was far more certain than God, and with death there would be no longer the daily possibility of love dying. The nightmare of a future boredom and indifference would lift.-The Quiet American-Graham Greene

Book 28 is Nickel and Dimed: On (not) getting by in America. This was a wonderful read; it was certainly nothing new for me. It was a little like a trip down memory lane. Trying to make it as an unskilled worker in the US, is my heritage. Waiting tables, retail and house cleaning, the family business. For anyone, who has lived this drudgery, this is a good book. It isn't overly political, it is just a day to day account of trying to making the choice between a roof over your head, or nutritious food. It was excellent.

There are no secret economies that nourish the poor; on the contrary, there are a host of special costs. If you can't put up the two months' rent you need to secure an apartment, you end up paying through the nose for a room by the week. If you have only a room, with a hot plate at best, you can't save by cooking up huge lentil stews that can be frozen for the week ahead. You eat fast food or the hot dogs and Styrofoam cups of soup that can be microwaved in a convenience store.- Nickel and Dimed- Barbara Ehrenriech

The rest of my life is fine. Things are smashing and peachy. Tonight my handsome Latin lover and I will order in Asian dumplings and watch The Office. What could be better?

Embraced by the Light

I know I have some hard core ethiest readers and some devout Christian readers; I have, at times been both. I try to keep an open mind, but I believe what I believe, and it is very personal. I read Embraced by the Light by Betty Eadie today. It is about a woman who dies and sees heaven, Jesus, and the whole kit and caboodle.

Now normally, I would write this off as hokie baloney, but something about it was very sweet. I don't care if it is true, it is a pretty way to see things. I feel that way about religion in general, who cares about the facts, the facts don't aways give me what I need. Sometimes the stories do.

I understood that life is lived most fully in the imagination-that, ironically, imagination is the key to reality. This is something I never would have supposed. We are sent here to live life fully, to live it abundantly, to find joy in our own creations, whether they are new thoughts or things or emotions or experiences. We are to create our own lives, to exersize our gifts gifts and experience both failure and success. We are to use our free will to expand and magnify our lives.-Embraced by the Light- Betty Eadie

Tattoo and Follett

First of all,

For the first time, ender felt like laughing. He smiled. the other boys near him were laughing t the moment, too, for another reason. They think I'm smiling at their joke, thought Ender,. But I'm smiling at something funnier.- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.

I am reading a slew of great books right now, so the project is moving along at a nice steady and smooth pace. I am very pleased with this batch of contestants. It makes my job much easier.

Also, I am thrilled at Ken Follett's World Without End coming out! Woo Hoo. His Pillars of the Earth was my favorite of last winter. I read it in good time because I am ready for the sequel, but I am going to wait until I finish a few to give it a lot of my attention. It is a monster though, so I wont be lugging it around.

No Health News, yet. Hopefully, I will have answers soon, I am starting to feel like I am on one of those medical mystery shows. I am not digging my Belladonna pills, they give you a killer hang over.

I got a new tattoo today, it was kinda ouchy. Maybe my pain threshold is getting wimpier as I get older. I am in love with it, it is perfect. My inner right arm never looked so good, I got a traditional swallow.

Okay, I am going to make some progress in The Historian. I like it, but it seems to be so slow.

Alive

I kinda dropped out for a little bit, but I finished Ender's Game and I really really liked it, so I will catch up on that later.

My dog got her ultrasound, and she has Pulmonary Stentosis. She will be on medicine forever, but she could still live for many years. Woo hoo. Doesn't she look sick of hospitals?



I get my ultrasound tomorrow, so it is my turn to find out news. I am much less nervous about mine than hers. I do not, however, like the prospect of fasting. I can't have breakfast tomorrow, and that is my very very favorite meal of the day. In fact, I think coffee and toast, sweets, cereal, eggy wegs and cured meats ARE the reason I am a morning person, but it has been all flax seed smoothies lately, so hopefully once I know what plagues me I will be on the highway back to bacon and black coffee. Actually, I may just go have a cup-a-joe now as a final meal sort of thing before they tell me I can never have it again.

School is starting to feel a little overwhelming in light of all the medical issues lately, but I am tying to look at it as something to devote my time to instead of letting it drown me, I am prone to that.

Joseph Campbell and Yellow Fever

Book 23: I adore Joseph Campbell. He is another one of those people, like Diane Ackerman, I could read over and over and never get sick of. There is something about the way he puts things that makes everything he says just cut you up, in a good way.

( I am a little behind, but still in a good place.)

You can't ask somebody to give The Reason, but you can find one for yourself; you decided what the meaning of your life is to be. People talk about the meaning of life; there is o meaning of life- there are lots of meanings of different lives, and you must decide what you want your own to be.-An Open Life: Joseph Campbell in conversation with Michael Toms.

Book 24: I also finished Yellow Jack: How Yellow Fever Ravaged america and Walter Reed Discovered its Deadly Secrets

This book was good, it was a little dull in the middle and end where there was endless lists of mosquito types and squabbling in the medical community. (FYI: Carlos Finlay, a Cuban really discovered the source of yellow fever.) The beginning was great with all the crazies in Philly that thought yellow fever was coming from rotting coffee grinds and miasmas. It was also vile when some doctors were injecting poo and various biles into people to see how contagious it was, oh and in Cuba they had volunteers live in a cabin for 18 days with soiled, rotting poo filled sheets hanging from the rafters.....medicine is awesome.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

From Mary Oliver's The Summer Day.

Merde

I just finished Stephen Clarke's A Year in the Merde about an English guy who goes into business with the French to open a tea house in Paris. It was okay. There wasn't anything fantastic about it, but it was moderately entertaining.

No quotes, nothing really struck me. I thought about just opening to any page and inserting a paragraph, but that doesn't seem fair to books that earn their quotations. Not that this book was bad, it was fine. And it makes 22 books. I am about 7 books behind schedule. Not too bad.

What else? Oh, I met a guy on Goodreads.com that started reading 100 books in a year in mid-January. He isn't doing so hot, but hopefully I can use some of his mistakes as my inspiration. I certainly don't want to have to cram the last few months in. I am trying to read a little more often.

French Women Same old, Same old

I could read Entre Nous a million times. I love that book; it makes me feel good and gives me real pointers on ways to enrich myself. Not change who I am, just improve. This French Woman crap lectured by Mireille Guiliano makes me want to eat at McDonald's wearing sweats and a ball cap just to be as unFrench as possible.

I know that the two books: Entre Nous and French Women blah blah blah, say some similar things. But The Entre Nous is more of a make no apologies be more of who you are not less, don't compromise whereas Guilano's book is more of a check list to be like her. Exactly what to eat, say, act, yuck. I think checking off a list of your character traits makes you pretty silly.

Eww

Yeah, the book went there. Girl sets off me meet man she thought was her father and they fall in love and get married. I think this cures me from my Pilcher obsession for the time being.

" I think that is the way a house should be. It should evolve like the people who live in it." -Sleeping Tiger- Rosamund Pilcher

Hiding Place

I found a nice hiding place at school today. In the Math building there is a large, but not often used stairwell with huge Nazi architecture-looking windows that make me feel like I am in an experiment. I like it in here though, it is quiet and the only people you see are either out the window and just blobby figures, or total math geeks that are more embarrassed about being caught here than you.

It is rainy today; I love the rain since I moved to Florida. In fact, any weather that isn't hot and sunny is welcome to me. I have never been a fan of the summertime, I like Autumn, Winter and Spring, but Summer is just hot. I like the odd swim here and there and I love Tomatoes and Strawberries, but I am just waiting for fall. I am definitely not living in the right state, but I love my life here, even though it is usually sweaty and damp.

I am doing great in Calculus, can you believe it? I hardly passed anything in there last semester, and now I am miss speed demon during the quizzes. I am still worried about the tests though. I get major anxiety when faced with math tests. Suddenly I can't even count, it is bizarre.

In the world of books I am almost finished with another Rosamund Pilcher book. I am not enjoying it nearly as much as I usually enjoy her stuff. Maybe over kill. it is possible that her books are too sweet and I need to pace myself as with chocolate or krispy-kreme. I am reading Sleeping Tiger. It is about a young woman who goes in search of her father in Spain (whom she thought was dead.) I think the direction it is going is that the dude isn't her father, and is a possible love interest. Creepy? I am thinking a little incest romance may not be a page turner, but I will let you know.

I have been beating myself up because half of the reason for doing this book project was to diminish my to-read list, and frankly, it has grown. So after this little spell of books, I am reading list books only for a little while. I think there is a part of me that doesn't want to lessen the to-read list. It has been my companion for so long, ya know. I have been getting emails from dailylit.com with excerpts from Proust's Swann's Way and Zola's Therese Raquin. I read Swann's Way years ago and I wanted a refresher because I would like to read the rest of Remembrance of Things Past. I won't count it though. As far as the Zola, I am enjoying my little blurbs so much I may count it because I think I will end up picking up the real book some day soon. I recommend dailylit.com it is nice to have a ditty waiting in your email box.

Well, sorority girls invaded my sanctuary, so much for a hiding place.

Triple

I finally finished a book, sheesh. Triple by Ken Follett was okay. It was a little dated about certian things, but I like that in a book. A world before cell phones and computers. I can't imagine how difficult the lives of spies were before modern technology. You know, it was a pretty good book now that I think about it. Not many authors could make me interested in covert military stuf in the 60's involving the Soviets, Israel and Palestine, and I kept up fine without knowing anything about that time.

I don't have a quote, nothing really stood out like that, but I do recommend Follett he is kinda raw and masculine, but it isn't too offensive and he always gives his men folk compassion, unlike his harlot women. But at least his harlots are always smart.

I am trying to keep up in school, take care of my dog and get so reading me time. It is going pretty well. As long as I keep it moment to moment I am okay. I can't think ahead of myself or I get overwhelmed. I am being mindful. (for my fans that hate Oprah terms, you may laugh at that last statement. It was for you.)

Cola

Hey everyone,

My dog, Cola has been diagnosed with heart disease and heart failure. She is only 3 and she is otherwise very healthy, so I have faith that she will live as long as she can. She will see a heart specialist in a few weeks for an ultrasound that will tell us the exact state of things in her ticker. For those of you who pray, pray for her, and those of you who don't, raise a glass to her.

I have been reading here and there. Mostly I am trying to finish Triple by Follett. I like Follet and his Pillars of the Earth, but he writes women so strangely. The are usually strong and ambitious and intelligent, but they are always really whorey too. They go from bun wearing intellectual to wanton foul-mouth sluts in about one sentence. It is okay, it is just funny that there is never a transition.

Neglect

I know I have really been neglecting this whole project thing, but I have made steady progress here and there. I don't think I am too far behind.

I was all excited when I finished Rebecca because I was going to post my first 20 books, then I realized I never finished The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr, so I have only read 18 books. I am going to post them anyway just to catch up.

And then I open the door and go to the dining-room, where he is sitting waiting for me at a table, and I think how in that moment I have aged, and passed on, how I have advanced one step towards and unknown destiny. Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier.

I enjoyed this book a lot, it was creepy and neurotic, and I like that.

Other things are going well, school has been smooth sailing so far, but now the assignments are starting to roll in. I do have the insufferable group projects to contend with again, but so far, my group seems pretty good. Hallelujah.

One of my issues lately has been my dog. Well, after she got better from the nasty sickness this summer, she got a hellacious ear infection. (she smelled liked feet.) And during the exam they discovered that her little heart murmur is now a big heart murmur and we have to get a chest x-ray to look at her ticker. I am getting the x-rays in the next several months. She has been coughing which isn't a great sign. I love my pup, I don't know what I would do with out her.

My health has been better. I am a walking pharmacy.

I am trying to stay positive though because God knows, things have been a lot worse. I love my fella, my pooch, my apartment and all my new accouterments. (thank you financial aid shopping sprees.)

This first 18 books.
1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris
11. Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell
12. Philosophy for Beginners-Osborne
13. Stuart:A Life Backwards-Alexander Masters
14. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher
15. How to Cook a Wolf- MFK Fisher
16. The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum-Izzo
17. A Slender Thread-Diane Ackerman
18.Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier

I am super duper behind, but no fear my fans, I am in the middle of a bunch of books so it will seem like I am real behind then I will finish 5 in a week. It works like that for me. I have my bus book, my bed book, my too heavy to carry around book, the pool book...you get the idea.
Thanks for being patient. I have been horrible entertainment for you lately.

Saturday

I never ever feel like writing. I think I am way too private a person to have a blog. Let's just say I have stuff going on. I liked writing more when to one read this, no offense.

I have been reading Rebecca. It is so creepy. I am enjoying it, but I am not slobbering all over it like so many people do. From my days working at the books store, I still get these images of these freaks who love this book. Another funny fan club is those chicks that are crazy for Clan of the Cave Bear. Their eyes actually film over when they talk about Auel. Don't get me wrong, I am aware that I have no room to judge. (note previous love fest for Pilcher) and anyway I am totally going to read Auel's books.

So it is all about Rebecca right now, I am a little over half way through and this makes my 19th or 20th book, so I will get a list together to post.

I am going to see Bourne Ultimatum tonight. I am excited. I love international intrigue.

Library

I have been reading for the last couple days, but mixing this project with school and life's other unexpected challenges is going to be more difficult than I thought.

I did, however, finish A Slender Thread by Diane Ackerman.

Today I perceive the world much the same way as I did in my teens and twenties. But I process the world differently. the steep sensations don't frighten me. The intensity hasn't changed, but it has become familiar and manageable, I don't feel so much in its thrall, and at times I can summon or ignore it. If you can survive the first rapids of discovering you have a terrifyingly intimate relationship with the world, then you'll get used to it, treasure it, and life my eventually calm down. A Slender Thread- Diane Ackerman

I saw in the FSU View that Crisis Hot Line Volunteers were needed, and since that is what this book is about, I damn near called. What a fiasco that would have been. I am not the best person to turn to with your fears about life. I am sure the first caller having a panic attack would then send me into fits too and it would be mayhem. I can handle large scale crisis, but if you start asking the "what is it all for?" questions, I go into a tail spin.

School is going well so far this semester despite the health set backs and my dog is sick AGAIN! I am just trying to not think of the big picture. The big picture makes me nuts.

Whoa, I have been awake 3 hours, it is nap time.

Loser

I haven't read a page in 2 days. Argh.

Beginners

I finished Philosophy for Beginners today. I really like the for beginners books; they are like reading the Sunday funnies only you learn a lot. I am totally counting this book even though it is all pictures and only184 pages. A girl needs a break sometimes.

I feel like this project has gone to pot, probably because my number system is fucked, but I will pull it together. Every 10 or so books I will do a recap so we can all keep it honest. I am pooped today. The thrill is gone, but it is temporary.

I also finished The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum. I like etiquette books even if I am not exactly the picture of class myself. (note frequent and nonsensical usage of f-word) Maybe that is the reason I like these books, like, how can one possibly avoid telling others to f-off or calling certain folks douches. It is beyond me at times. This book, however, is lame. I think it even went into to "fuck-buddy" etiquette...please. First rule of decorum is discretion, sheesh.

Island

If I were stranded on an island and could only read one person's writing over and over it would be Diane Ackerman. I am reading A Slender Thread. It is about her time as a crisis center volunteer and about the squirrels in her back yard. Her prose is so rich and full of poetry one minute and very sociological the next, delicious. And as far as the island thing, she has written about a million books, so I wouldn't run out for a long time.

School is back. I was able to read a ton today though because I have a huge break on Mondays. I think Monday will be my official catch-up if I am behind on reading day. This is the semester that Florida State isn't going to beat me. I am determined to do well and not be miserable.

Lazy

I have hardly read at all the last 2 days; I think it is because school is looming on Monday. Back to the shit. There is a part of me that is excited. The Fall semester is always awesome, it is the other semesters I hate. So tonight I am loading up my Ipod and making all kinds of promises to myself about how I will watch less TV, listen to more NPR and try to enjoy school.

I am reading just not in a very organized way.

Blackouts and Rice Pudding

I just finished How to Cook a Wolf by MFK Fisher. I love that lady.

If you are used to drinking, and can, it is pleasant to have whiskey or a good stable wine in your cupboard. A glass in your hand makes the ominous sky seem very high above you.- How to Cook a Wolf - MFK Fisher (How to deal with the blackouts)

I can't imagine blackouts, preserving fuel for cooking or getting excited over canned meat. I guess I am pretty lucky in that respect. This book was a lot about coping with less than fabulous ingredients to make life cozy; it is a worthy read, but the food is definitely dated. Sherry party, anyone?

I wasn't feeling too well this morning when I finished Fisher's book, but I was in that reading zone, so I just grabbed the closest book I could reach from my bed. It is Ken Follett's Triple. I am not sure if I will finish it or not, but I did really enjoy his Pillars of the Earth, the funny thing is that after reading about Sherry all morning, the characters in the book really went to an honest to goodness Sherry party. I thought that was serendipitous.

I plan on reading a lot today. The days are flying by, and before I know it I will be back to the daily grind. I may as well soak it in while I can. Oh my god, can I use more cliches in this closing? I am making myself sicker.

Stuart

So Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters isn't that good, or interesting. I don't necessarily suggest it, but there was something touching about it by the end. Stuart was a miserable bastard and he may have been one whether he had had his fucked up life or not, but you can't help but look at his little kid picture and wonder. It was very sad, I just don't think it was written well. It us a crying shame because I love the backwards idea.

Is this the way to characterize the chaotic: they are people for whom forgetting has become more important than remembering? Is this a trite observation? Of course a chaotic person like Stuart wants to forget. He's been raped by his brother, raped by his teachers, bullied by school friends, told he's evil by the social services , spent eight years of his life with his nose stuck in a bag of glue, three more with his veins impaled on the end of a syringe, tattooed FUCK in letters big enough for a road sign down his right arm, and thinks the police are hiding cameras in his kitchen ventilation grate. Who wouldn't want to forget a life like that? Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters.

I am progressing here and there. I can't believe school starts in less than a week. I am trying to keep on top of reading while cleaning house. I will have no time for the next few months, so I should at least start with a clean slate.

I really want to walk to this groovy looking vintage shop today, but it is so hot, and I have residual Xanax from last night. (long story, minor health issues, not clubbing) I am afraid I will just get to the shop the feel like an overheated crackhead and turn around and leave. Maybe I will just chillax instead. Yes, I said chillax.

House

I finished The Empty House this morning. I don't care what you say, I loved it. I could read descriptions of the inside of English farmhouses all day and it doesn't matter what is going on inside of them.

Sunk into the folds of her coat,hands deep in its pockets, she looked about her and decided that never had she been in a room so welcoming, so secure. There were beams in the ceiling, with old iron hooks for smoking hams, and deep window sills crammed with flowering geraniums. There was a huge stove where the kettle simmered, and a caned chair with a cat curled in its seat,and there was a grain merchant's calendar and curtains of checked cotton and the smell of warm baking bread. The Empty House- Rosamund Pilcher

It is an obsession with me, I know. When I was a kid my parents had a junk/antique business, and I would save all the old cooking magazines and home decorating books and just gaze at them for hours. I was fascinated by people who cared about their environment and ate real food. In our house dinner came from a can and was served in front of episodes of the A-team or 20/20. My mom is still fascinated by the fact that she produced a daughter that thinks an ideal day is shopping for and then cooking an old fashioned meal. (that being anything that you can not make in a microwave.) She thinks I am some weirdo repressed throw-back to the olden times.

She was very excited though when I came across a recipe in MFK Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf that has been in our family for 3 generations. Granted there ARE can goods involved, but it WAS the war time, ya know. I think that when I found the recipe, it finally occurred to her that food wasn't a duty I was trying to perform, but that food does have emotional significance. I just want to provided my future generations with a little more substance to pass on. I don't want my legacy to be canned chili mixed with Velveeta = nachos. (as delicious as that may be.) I am by no means a food snob, but I think it is important to know the difference between real food and mystery concoctions though they both have their place in my world.

Books

Well, I am reading a lot, I just haven't been finishing anything. I am almost through Stuart: A Life Backwards. It is a biography about a homeless man, but it starts in current times and we work back to all the possible factors in his life that may have got him where he is. This book was written in my to-read book twice, so I had high hopes. It isn't bad, but I don't like it. Stuart doesn't conjure up much sympathy, and it is a shame because it is a very sad story. I do empathize with him, but he really just doesn't ever grow on you. It is also very English, so sometimes it is hard to understand the school and public assistance terms. School levels, the dole, hostel programs etc. In the end my favorite thing about this book is the title.

I love old houses. Ever since I was a little girl I have reoccurring dreams of houses; I am renovating, redecorating, moving in, moving out, gardening, getting ready for a party, I am always busy fixing up my home. It has been many different kinds of houses and even a couple apartments. So it stand to reason that any author that can recreate that feeling for me, I am going to eat them up. Rosamund Pilcher does that for me. Scottish girly romantic cheesy...say what you will, but that lady can make a cozy scene. Right now I am over half way through The Empty House, and I love it. Unusual cottage by the sea, cooking over the ancient fireplace, and being left to your own devices. Lovely.

I am reading several others too, but those are the ones keeping me occupied.

Argh

I had to put aside my first book. Caleb Carr's The Italian Secretary is just awful, but since I have read 224 pages, I will probably finish it at some point within the year. I have a tendency to push through books I hate; this is a habit I would like to be cured of. There are so many wonderful books out there, so why should I torture myself. I think it is mixed feelings of failure, and also I have loved Caleb Carr's other books. Sometimes I put so much faith in an author that I think maybe it is me, maybe there is something I just don't get.

So, on a positive note, I am really enjoying MFK Fisher's How to Cook a Wolf. It makes me want to pull together all the resources I can to make fabulous dinners for people in wartime. Fortunately, I will probably never have to use this knowledge, but I don't want it to be lost. It is so interesting. I recommend it to everyone interested in food, cooking or women.

Brain Melt

It is god awful hot. I has been this hot for days and days, but since most of my time is spent inside (except the 30 times a day I take my dog out) I don't care so much. But since I get a little nutsy when I am alone too much, on this vacation, I am making it a priority to get out. I don't drive, so I walk. So when I go far, I walk far. And thus, I actually feel ill from being in the heat too much today. I feel disgusting.

I did, however, visit my therapist. She approve of the book thing I am doing, I thought she wouldn't, so that is a relief. She even got all giddy and gave me some book suggestions, silly therapist.

I don't want to list all the books I am reading and what pages I am on. Let's suffice it to say. I am approaching the middle of about 5 books. I am like some ADD book monster. If you are desperate to know just what I am reading you can peek here. But in all honesty, once a book has a number, it is like I am obligated to finish it, and that wasn't working for me at all. I will give it a number at its finish until then I am allowed to put it down at will.

ADD

I really do have book ADD right now. I am still trudging through the books I started, but I needed something different. I went to the library (I have been too ashamed after my delinquent $16 from Christmas break) and I browsed around for hours. I forgot how simple and wonderful it felt to walk down rows and rows of books and know I could take anyone of them home. When I was about 11, I used to ride my bike to the library, and like a true OCD kid, I would start at the first book on a shelf and read all the way to the last book on the shelf. I think this is why I read an abnormal amount of historical fiction. Evidently that was the shelf of choice that summer. Nowadays, I usual know exactly which books I want to read and which ones I don't, but it is nice sometimes to just let myself be drawn to the books. Hopefully I am inspired now.

More and more

I am not doing well. I guess I am making progress, but it isn't fun, inspiring progress. It is that exciting "can't put it down" excitement I was looking for. I am reading very sporadically. A chapter here in Caleb Carr's book (slow p 145), A chapter or two there in Stuart: A Life Backwards (it is good, and I am enjoying it but something is getting in the way. p 136), and I am supplementing them with a dose of the cheesy philosophy book. I am a sucker for these comic book dumbing down of scholarly stuff. But I just am not riveted, and I want to be. I think tonight I will just grab random books from my shelf and see if they are what I need right now.

I am definitely enjoying my time off from school. I am lounging around the house like a lazy cat.

Sunday

I finished Sarah Vowell today. I really like her even though we may be polar opposites. I enjoy her best when she is talking about history and not so much about her family, but this book as a bunch of both.

The thing I love most about the goth club is how passive it is. Hardly anyone talks to anyone else. It is free of the normal social pressures to smile and interact and appear content. There's nothing of that getting-to-know-you pick up line crap. In fact, the mood in antithetical to pickups; it's more like stay away. No one cares if you dance. No one cares if you don't. As someone who often dreads strangers, the antisocial nature of this social situation makes me feel communal and part of something-one of us. Like, hey, I hate talking to you too! The mutual disgust is completely liberating.- Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell.

I am also on page 115 of The Italian Secretary. Let me just say, I loved The Alienist. I even liked Angel of Darkness a lot. I love Sherlock Holmes too. So why, oh why, do I not love this book? I am not ready to say that I don't like it, yet. I will just say it is slow moving and not very satisfying.

I haven't been reading as much as planned because I have had a very festive week with my boyfriends graduation and my birthday, but this week I will speed things up.

Due to the slow as molasses Caleb Carr book, I am adding 2 more books today to spice up my life a bit.

Book Project
Book 13- Philosophy for Beginners- Richard Osborne p.184
Book 14- Stuart: A Life Backwards- Alexander Masters p. 299

It is my birthday. I am 31. Ouch.

Moving Along

I finish Book 10 this morning, so I am making progress.

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange. -Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris

Books 1-10 July 4-August 7

1. The Pilgrimmage- Paulo Coehlo
2. The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan
3. Bookends- Jane Green
4. Raise High the Roof Beams, Carpenters, and Seymour and Introduction- J.D. Salinger
5. The Hours- Michael Cunningham
6. I'm a Stranger here Myself- Bill Bryson
7. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie
8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling
10. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris

Book Project
Book 11- The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr p 338
Book 12-Take the Cannoli- Sarah Vowell p 219

Get to Work

It is time to get serious about catching up and trying to get ahead now. I hope to make speedy progress through the next few books. Technically I am right on schedule, but with a financial aid battle looming ahead and then the busy fall semester, we are getting into panic attack season.

Every semester I play this game with the financial aid office. They say I am going to get loads of cash, then they say I am getting nothing. I get in turn excited, and devastated, fight and cry and yell, they tell me, okay okay, you will get a little tiny bit. I get relieved. Then the give me a ton of cash in tiny enough increments, that I still get behind in bills, so all the "extra' is used for late fees. I love college. Well, evidently this is the time when a ton is promised, but there is an 'issue" so I can't get it. They can't tell you anything on the phone, they can't answer email and in person, they say, well, you are all set....no holds showing up here. And when you get home, there is a big red sentence about a hold on your account. argh.

I did finish And Then There Were None last night. It was an easy good read, that took me weeks to finish for some reason. (Harry Potter distractions.)

Crime and its punishment has always fascinated me. I enjoying reading every kind of detective story and thriller. I have devised for my own private amusement the most ingenious ways of carrying out a murder. And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie

Book Project
Book 10-Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.

Graduation

Sorry for the delay. My boyfriend graduated today and his very large, very loud family is in town. There has been a plethora of food, festivities and lots of arguing about what we are doing next. I am roughly in the middle of Agatha Christie, read 1 David Sedaris story and have thumbed through a few others. I am anxious to get started, but have to take care of family business first. I am going to get it together soon.

Done

Okay, my Harry Potter distractions are over and I am ready continue. I am only going to say I am very satisfied with the conclusion of the series and I got my closure.

I am reading And Then There Were None now; I am on p. 32, it is good but it is kind of confusing because there are so many characters to keep track of. And as you know, that is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Tomorrow I have my last final. I am stoked about having a few weeks off, but I have to try and get something productive taken care of. I think maybe I will get rid of all my useless junk and start getting ahead on my subjects for the fall. I know that is super dorky, but you are talking to a person reading 100 books for fun. Do you expect anything different? Anyway, I am sick of hating school and I want to try to give a crap again. It is hard to though once you fall into that apathetic foggy zone.

Time to feed the dog.

Biggins

Yeah, so it is hard to find anything to report. I am really enjoying my Potter love fest. I am in the mid-300's.

I am also studying for my written finals in speech, my actual speech went okay, but i had that gross dry-lip smacky thing happening. How embarrassing.

I am getting ready for my tri-annual financial aid battle. It should be a good one because I forgot to photocopy my 1040...oops. I am also considering an internship, it would be nice to have something to do. than again, I think my schedule is going to be pretty rough this fall. We'll see.

So beginning Saturday, I am going to try to knock out a book a day until school starts for fall. That isn't a strict guideline though, so don't hold me to it.

Nighty night

No Spoilers

I admit it I have had Harry Potter fever. I really don't want to talk about it because for one, I am not proud that I have jumped on that band wagon. And two, I know how hard it is to avoid knowing anything about these books if you are trying to read them.

I finished Harry Potter 6, and I am on page 200 of 7. I wanted to go ahead and read the new one asap. To get it over with, and to finish before it was ruined for me.

All is well, I am putting away hundreds of pages a day. As soon as I am done with Rowling, I will continue with the Agatha Christie book so I will be back on track.

Long Book

I am still reading the 6th Harry Potter. I have barely skimmed the surface of And Then then There Were None.

So on the book front there just really isn't much to report.

On a dorkier note I was up until 2:00 playing Fable. What a tragedy, now I am too pooped to finish writing my speech, too pooped to read and really have just enough energy to play Fable, yet I shouldn't play until I am finished with my speech and my reading pre-rec for the day. (today it is 130 pages. That is pretty fast-paced in J.K. Rowling)

So the plan is to watch CBS Sunday Morning, drink my coffee and also work on speech, finish up speech, read Potter, run around and clean up apartment just enough to justify spending the rest of the day playing Fable.

Yippie

I am done with the fucktard boys! No more "team work" at school. I couldn't be happier. The presentation was a fiasco, but it is over! This semester is almost finished. Hopefully the fall will bring good things. I have really hated my return to higher education so far. There is no turning back now though, I am already up to my ears in debt. I just need to get through it.

I haven't read a page today. Not one single page. I am going to make up for it this evening since my beau is in Miami and it is just me and my vicious attack dog.

I am thinking some Harry Potter, some fancy smoked oyster hors d'oeuvre and some crappy re-runs.

Cult

I am on page 245 of the 6th Harry Potter. I don't know why I am so feverish to read it, then on to the new one. This is a new thing for me, I really wasn't one of "those" people with the Harry Potter obsession. I thought they were nifty kid's books, that's all. Maybe it is contagious. Either way, I am obsessed now.

So that is where I am at. My boyfriend is on page 400 something. I am charting his progress so I know how much closer I am to being finished with the mess forever.

On the Side

I am seconds away from finishing the Bryson book and over all I did enjoy it.

On another occasion, I knocked a soft drink on to the lap of a sweet little lady sitting beside me. The flight attendant came and cleaned her up, and brought me a replacement drink, and instantly I knocked it onto the woman again. To this day, I don't know how I did it. I just remember reaching out for the new drink and watching helplessly as my arm, like some cheap prop in one of those 1950s horror movies with a name like "The Undead Limb", violently swept the drink from its perch and onto her lap.- I'm a Stranger Here Myself- Bill Bryson

I have not been the biggest Harry Potter fan, though I have read all but book 7. However, in light of the recent movie and new book release I am re-reading book 6. It was my favorite and I am going to read 7 when my boyfriend is finished. I wanted to confess because I don't know about the rules concerning re-reading a book. It is about a million pages long so it should count. I am going to count it, unless all hell breaks loose over this decision.

Book Project
Book 7- And Then There Were None-Agatha Christi pages 204
Book 8-Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince pages 652

I watched The Hours last night. I liked the book ending better. I don't think that Laura had to explain herself. I liked conjecturing about her life. The books usually are better though.

I think I am coming down with a bit of a cold because my throat hurts and I am so lethargic. At least after Thursday things will be looking up a little regarding school. I do have another speech on Monday but it is a fun one. I am talking about Old Timey Roadside Attractions.

Toodles

Second Wind

It is my fault that I got off on the wrong foot with Bill Bryson. I thought he would be different. I had this idea of him being really cool and well traveled and much different than he is. I set him up for failure. For the first 70 pages or so, I didn't really like him. I figured him for the kind of guy that I waited tables on for years. The kind that say your name a lot while being passive aggressive then doesn't tip. And he may still be that guy, but now he has grown on me like a square friend's dad. He is more endearing when he isn't trying to be funny. When he tries too hard, I am suddenly a rebellious teen wanting to do whatever he is making fun of, just to be the far opposite of whatever "thing" he can't understand. I have a bit of a daddy issue.

I am on page 179. Still moving slow, but I think I will make speedy work of the next few books. I should have reading time this week.

Updates: My dog is doing great. No more blood baths. The horrible group project at school is in writing but I won't be finished with the final presentation until Thursday. It will be an embarrassing fiasco. I am actually looking forward to it a little. It will be the grand finale to a horrible experiment in communications. Ironically it IS a communications course.

Poll for book 10

Okay, so I am going to start polling for books ahead, so I can slip some in that I want to read for sure.

I am still behind due to all my school stuff right now, but it will even out. I am on page 63 of Bryson. I am not going to say I don't like his weird superior, yet humble-acting attitude because I am sick of being so negative. Everyone loves Bill Bryson, right? I am sick of complaining.

Here are the Book 10 choices:

Dress you Family in Corduroy and Denim- David Sedaris Uproarious Hilarity pages 257

Auntie Mame- Patrick Denis Little Boy is raise by a nutty madcap aunt in the 50's pages 254

The Epicure's Lament-Kate Christiansen A snobbish hermit/epicure smokes, schemes and sexually manipulates...need I say more? pages 351

'Tis- Frank McCourt Continuation of Irish Life p 367

Fluids

Okay, my pup is getting better, and so, I am getting better too. The Hours was the worst book I could have possibly read right now, but I loved it.

Still, she loves the world, and she knows other people must love it too, poor as well as rich, though no one speaks specifically of the reasons. Why else do we struggle to go on living, no matter how compromised, no matter how harmed? Even if were further gone than Richard; even if we're fleshless, blazing with lesions, shitting in the streets; still, we want desperately to live.-The Hours, Michael Cunningham

Book Project
Book 6: I'm A Stranger Here Myself- Bill Bryson p 288

Hopefully I will start this tonight, but I have a BUST magazine I have been trying to slip in. The thing about this reading thing is that whenever I read anything else, I feel like I am wasting time. I need to stick to the plan, there will be blogs and magazines in the future, right now I am about the books. We will see about that.

My infinitely wise fella suggested that I have my polls last longer, so after this one, I am going to just poll every other book. And I am open to suggestions too.

Tonight should be okay. My dog is getting better, my stupid school issue is resolved for the next 48 hours and my fridge is full of Yuengling, so why do I feel so blue? Thanks The Hours, thanks a lot.

Sicko

My dog is very sick, so everyone pray, dance, laugh, meditate and ponder for her to get better, please. She is my whole world. She spend the day at the hospital and now she is at home with me for the night, but I have to take her back in early tomorrow for fluids and what not. I have a long night ahead of me.

I had to end the poll a little early, but the winner for book 6 is I'm A Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson.

Also the poll is at the bottom of this page for book 7. The contenders are:

The Terminal Man- Michael Crichton p.261- A guy gets electrodes put in his head to cure headaches and he goes on a homicidal rampage.

And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie p204- Classic murder mystery, one by one the guests die...wauh ha ha. (Dracula Laugh)

Under The Tuscan Sun- Frances Mayes p 280- A divorcee finds new life in Tuscan Villa.

For Whom The Bell Tolls- Ernest Hemingway p 471- Mountains of Spain, war, guerrillas, lovely Spanish ladies and Papa Hemingway's signature style.


I won't poll for all the books, I want to pick some of them. But it is fun to be involved, isn't it?
I am about 50 pages until the end of The Hours. It was remarkable timing. I have had some seriously dark days, all will be right soon, I hope.

Better Now

Okay, I was a mess yesterday. Too too much stress. And did I mention my dog was sick. I had to take her out to poo every hour for the last 3 days. She is at the doggie hospital now.

Last night I had a beer, a steak and some dark chocolate and managed to wake up ready to live today and NOT put my head in the oven. I still have many horrible obligations to this school issue. (I hate hate hate teamwork assignments) But with my puppy in good hands, and some advising from my guardian angel, I am more up to the tasks.

Today I read up to page 141, and I am confident that I will finish by the weekend. The poll with close tonight by midnight so don't forget to vote at the bottom of the page. The Hours is great. It makes me want to fill my apartment with fresh flowers and think depressing thoughts while contemplating how blessed I am. It is that kind of book.

Distractions

Things aren't going well in the reading department this week so far. I am only on page 76 of the hours, so I am 112 pages behind my imaginary quota. I really am enjoying the book though. It is beautiful and just the kind of book I had in mind when this all started. I wanted to read thought-provoking books that would help me evolve a little. But who can stand that all the time? We all need fluff in our lives sometimes.

School is a beast this week. Group projects bite. That is the major hold up right now, so just bear with me. In the morning I wake up dreading the day, I then suffer through endless hours of diplomatic stale mate decisions that get us nowhere, I have about 50 panic attacks and a few pity parties on the phone with my long distance friends. (Thank God for Courtney) Then I settle in for an evening of being brain dead and not even graceful stories about Virginia Woolf and friends can pull me out of this funk. Sorry. I will catch up when school is out in 2 weeks.

Help Me

Please scroll down to the bottom of this page to vote on the next book. This is actually the hardest part, deciding what to read next. I have a ton I plan on including, but the order is unknown, so you can help me in that department. Each time I plan on throwing in a book I hadn't planned on reading, my closest friends will know what that is. I can gauge what you want to hear about, and how sadistic you can be. Don't get offended if I don't like your choice, I am crabby, jaded and usually not known for my good taste.

Next

Hey. I am done. My brain feels fried from all the school work I had to catch up today, and then reading almost 1oo pages of Salinger non-stop. I don't know if I really liked book 4 or not. Salinger kind of hits me like that sometimes, I may not know for years. Then suddenly, I will think,"I need to read that part about Seymour's tie again."

Okay, the rest of the afternoon is dedicated making an afghan and watching movies.

By the way, I have been asked, "How on earth do you read so much? Do you just skim?" No. I really do read every word. I am a notoriously fast reader. (thanks to childhood escapism and my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Dunn!) But also, at this particular point in time, I am in 2 classes and have no job. Plus, I ride the bus which makes for hours of waiting and riding, waiting and riding. It helps that I keep farmer's hours, so I read chapters and chapters before you little dreamlets are even awake. Trust me, come fall, things will be a'changin. I will be in school full time, and probably having regular panic attacks. This is my normal. That is why the need for speed in these lazy summer days.

The announcer had them off on the subject of housing developments, and the little Burke girl said she hated houses that all looked alike- meaning a long row of identical 'development' houses. Zooey said they were 'nice'. He said it would be very nice to come home and be in the wrong house. To eat dinner with the wrong people by mistake, sleep in the wrong bed by mistake, and kiss everybody good-bye in the morning thinking they were your own family. He said he even wished everybody in the world looked exactly alike. He said you'd keep thinking everybody you met was your wife or your mother or father, and people would always be throwing their arms around each other wherever they went, and it would look 'very nice'.-Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour an Introduction- J.D. Salinger

Book Project
Book 5: The Hours-Michael Cunningham pages:228

Failure

I maybe read 25 pages today. My beau and I spent all day building a gazebo in his backyard.
I just can't muster up the energy to read Salinger right now. This is my first really sad reading day, but we all gotta live, right? Some days you need manual labor, a pizza and your fella. I will make it up.

Salinger

I love J.D. Salinger. I didn't for a long time. The first time I read The Cather in the Rye I hated it. Years later, a good friend convinced me to try Franny and Zooey and I have been hooked ever since. I have since read Catcher 2 more times, and I like it now, but only because it reminds me of Franny. I finished raise the roof, Carpenters, and will probably read Seymour: An Introduction later tonight. Though it wasn't my favorite story, I can help adoring just because it involves the Glass family, they can do no wrong in my eyes.

I find that so far this reading contest is changing my life little bits. I am meeting strangers, I am falling behind on housework, and my TIVO is desperate for my attention. I normally watch hours and hours of TV. I know to most people, especially the literary and music snobs that surround me, that is appalling. But I am a full-time student with all the perks that entails. Long hours of monotonous work and very very little cash flow. There isn't a whole lot left over, for pricey nights out on the town, so TIVO has been my entertainment/comfort of choice. Plus, this is the first time I've ever had cable, and everything is interesting to me. I don't feel guilty, I have loved my hours of Little People, Big World while I work on Calculus.

That being said, I am down to about 2 hours a day, and that is in the morning. I am obsessed with the reading thing. I am cutting back this week though because I am about to be overwhelmed with massive amounts of school work.

P. 104 book 4

Behind

I had a crap day at school so I got super behind, but I am going to breeze through Bookends tonight and start book 3. I do think that I may have had an epiphany and want my own bookstore one day. I guess if I do start one, I will thank this cruddy book after all.

Look at me. I am sprawled on the sofa, one leg flung over the back, crap sitcoms that I'd never admit to watching blaring from the television screen, and I'm cramming soft rice cakes topped with plastic-effect cheese and a healthy dollop of hummus (scooped from the tub by my finger, I'll have you know) on the top. I'm slurping the coffee because it's too hot, and the only reason I can do any of this is because I'm on my own.- Bookends-Jane Green

Book Project
Book 4(which is dedicated my beautiful friend Silvia): Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction- J.D. Salinger pages: 213

Dumb Chick Lit

I can dig Chick Lit. The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Pilcher is one of my favorite books of all time. The Thorn Birds, don't get me started. I still feel guilty for even glancing at priests because of that one. We all know my feelings for Amy Tan, and I can even get into the odd cheesy romance novel if I like the setting and the word "mound" is used with caution.

That being said, I can not tolerate a narrating female character that is self-loathing. In Bookends the main character Cath is constantly referring to herself as a filthy pig, or calling her hair, pubic hair or talking about how she is filthy. What the fuck is that? Have some self-respect. The book isn't awful, but she is awful and I hate reading her thoughts. I am so sad that women must identify with her. Try reading Catherine Neville books, now those are some real women.

I am on page 219, and hope to announce book 4 tomorrow.

Finished

Okay I finally finished The Opposite of Fate last night. It wasn't that it wasn't good, but her writing can be too rich, it can give you a tummy ache.

I write because I have been in love with words since I was a child. I hoarded words from the thesaurus and the dictionary as though they were magic stones, toys, treasures. I loved metaphors and used them before I knew what the word meant. I thought of metaphors as secret passageways that took me to hidden rooms in my heart, and my memory as the dreamy part of myself that lived in another world. I played with my memory of both real and imaginary life the way girls play with their Barbies and boys with their penises. I dressed it up, changed it a dozen times, manipulated it, tugged it, wondered if it would enlarge and pulsate until others noticed it too. I thought of it as a weapon, a secret, a sin, an incorrigible vice. The Opposite of Fate: a Book of Musings, Amy Tan

I am in need of lighter, or at least less self-examining books. Coelho and Tan make me talk to myself. Suddenly I am narrating in my head all day and it is ridiculous. I talk to myself in the shower about my mother' mistakes being in my DNA, and I get weird ideas about who in my life is a "messenger". I almost read this book about Joseph Campbell next, I think that would have done me in and I would have quit school again so I could study archetypes in middle America or something.

I am on page 96 of Bookends.

Multitasking

Well, usually I read more than 1 book at a time. I have one I tote around on the bus, 1 I read in bed because it is too big to carry all day, and a throw-away crappy book I can read in the tub or pool. (Because I have dropped them more than once causing the dreaded engorged puffy book syndrome.) Then there are always the books that really can't be read straight through, whether they are short stories, poetry books or just kinda shitty-I always have a stack of those piled up somewhere too.

So on that note, I am introducing a new book to the rotation.
The Amy Tan book is gigantic, and makes for back issues when it is coupled with my laptop and various other beastly textbooks.

Book Project
Book 3: Bookends-Jane Green pages 358

I actually started this book yesterday, but the first 45 pages were pure torture, so I threw it in my pile of books to trade in at the used-book store. I hate it when an author introduces too many characters in the first couple of pages, and though I love most British humor, sometimes I am really turned of by their liberal usage of tampons as a metaphor. But several hours later, I was still wondering about certain characters, and that was reason enough to give it another try. I officially started enjoying this book on page 57. The cover is embarrassing though.

Brain Dead

Well, I didn't realize how much that speech took out of me until I tried to read another story about Tan's mother, I am completely wrecked. I am going to make small attempts to read this evening, but will make up for it later in the week. I have to remind myself, it is 100 books a year, my year just started, I shouldn't panic if I don't read hundreds of pages a day.

I told one of the Neanderthals in my group that I was trying to read 100 books in a year, and he said, "that isn't bad, what is that a book a day?" Argh.

I am officially brain fried from writing my speech for tomorrow, and reading way too much about the making of The Joy Luck Club. I have hit a bit of a lull in the middle of this book and it is rough. I did make it to page 214, so I am satisfied with that for tonight. I am going to read my BUST magazine and watch The Next Food Network Star.

So far I recommend The Pilgrimage to hippie types that like the Carlos Casteneda-type stuff, and The Opposite of Fate to people who love Amy Tan, I mean reallly love Amy Tan.

Outta Mind

I didn't make a ton of progress today. I wrote my speech and went to see Blades of Glory. It was very funny. I had a wonderful day with my fella, and I didn't think too much about this daunting task. I did, however, buy 5 books at Goodwill.

I am on page 101 of the Amy Tan book as of 8:21 pm. I plan on reading a little bit more, but my TIVO is getting jealous. I have my stories to catch up on, not to mention my latest addiction to ER reruns. For some reason I am a sucker for a show once it is in syndication and I can see whole seasons in a weekend. I will watch a marathon of anything.

I had forgotten how much I love Amy Tan. I haven't read her most recent book, yet. I have missed her. Next I will have to read something light, these rich, soul searching books are making me feel heavy.

Nighty Night

Good Morning

Okay, The next book is a little on the hefty side, but I was so excited to get it at the $1.00 store. It will be rough to lug around so, hopefully I can finish the bulk of it this weekend, and not have to schlep it uphill to school with me next week.

I have a speech to give on Monday and a test Tuesday, so we can't expect a miracle. I am making today a reading day, and tomorrow homework day. Then I will fill in the cracks with the rest of my life somehow. I am hoping to develop some serious multitasking tools.

Book Project
Book 2: The Opposite of Fate- Amy Tan pages 398

Progress

Okay, I am a little behind where I wanted to be already, but I did make some progress. The Pilgrimage got way too hippie mystical for my taste, thus slowing me down. But I have soldiered through and will be finished tonight. Tomorrow morning I will announce book 2.

Today was rough, I have realized that some days I may not feel like reading. Also I remembered reading once that it is better to know 1 book intimately than many fleetingly. Maybe I am not paying these books the respect they deserve. I will keep all this in mind. It is important that I enjoy, learn and absorb some of the books I read.

Everything in our surroundings reflected an uneasy peace, the peace of a world that was still in the process of growing and being created- a world that seemed to know that, in order to grow, it had to continue moving along, always moving along. Great earthquakes and killer storms might make nature seem cruel, but I could see that these were just the vicissitudes of being on the road. Nature itself journeyed, seeking illumination. The Pilgrimage

I went to a used bookstore tonight and stocked up for the weeks ahead, suggestions are welcome but keep in mind, I have many reasons for not choosing to read certain books. (length, already read, etc..)

The Morning After...

Well, this morning I thought better of this idea. I figured that it wasn't so important after all, and that it was ridiculous. And then.....none other than Julie Powell commented on this blog. I was giddy and starstruck and also felt a horrible sense of dread. Now I really feel this sense of a mission.

My people and I are in the process of coming up with guidelines which I will post at some point. I need some basic rules to make it all fair.

Today went well, I am on page 150 and still have a couple hours to read tonight. The Pilgrimage is hokey in ways and beautiful in others. It isn't my cup of tea, but it is worth reading for some of the life observations.

Project

I am a notorious list maker. Books I have read, movies I want to see, clothing I will buy as soon as I graduate, etc... I have always had to write things down to think clearly or get my head straight. I have mountains of un-done to-do lists and years worth of music that I still haven't downloaded. It is a crying shame I am not a great writer because writing has been the great constant in my life. The list making habit is harmless, I never feel guilt or remorse about my unfinished tasks, it is the process.

But I just finished reading Julie and Julia by Julia Powell. This book struck a nerve with me. I read it in 2 days and cried through the last 15 pages. I was crying because it was so poignant and meaningful to me right now. I am 30, I feel useless and tired most of the time, and I want so much to accomplish something for myself. I admire her so much. When I was finished with the book I felt this horrible emptiness, like I had shared in this endeavor, but had felt none of the accomplishment.

The next morning (this morning) I was entering my "read" books into the goodreads website and I realized that I had read 72 books in a little over a year. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I read like a champ. I was wondering if I should try for 100 this year. Say by next 4th of July. I also wonder if there are others out there that were inspired by Julie to challenge themselves.

So I am going to challenge myself. I am not taking this too seriously; after all, I have been in college for 12 years. I am not exactly someone who finishes things. But now I have written it down, and told my boyfriend (who incidently bought me 5 books today) I will have a few cheats, a few graphic novels, a few kids books, but I will try to balance it out with some biggies too like Infinite Jest and Mason/Dixon.

I don't think I will make it, but what if I do? How would that feel?

Book Project
Book 1: The Pilgrimage- Paul Coehlo pages-265

What's Worse?

I am so ashamed. For the past half hour I have been thrashing around my apartment half in tears, half hysterical. I have been listening to The Fray's How to Save a Life repeatedly until melting into a slump on the floor. Why the theatrics? Some break-up, death or major loss? No, the kids at school are mean to me. I know how stupid this is, but for the past 18 months I have been back in school full time and I don't see anyone all day except these 19 year old fuckers. I can' t help but wonder if it was all that bad being a truck stop waitress. At least, was the cutest, smartest and most charming. Now I am the oldest, lamest and most annoying.

The only friends I have live states and time-zones away. They are more pen pals than friends now anyway. I have no one to talk to and it is starting to build up. It is normally not THIS big of a deal. Okay, I am not in my 20's anymore. I am pretty proud of that actually. These fucktard little shits all treat me like an antique, or a bitch and the latest some nagging mom figure. I want to quit. At least when I had no aspirations except which cocktails I was going to drink after pulling a double, I felt that false sense of belonging that you get from dive bars. I miss that. Again, I was a barfly, but I was the cutest, the smartest and most likely to do something like go to college.

There are worse things to be than a 30 year old truck stop waitress surrounded by drunken heros that adore her. Like for instance, a 30 year old student with no allies, alone in the collegiate wasteland where group work is the latest competitive tool to get you to kill each other.

I am a cry baby. It is just built up. I don't even know what about today stands out. The sucking just got really shitty today.